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It's not that difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart... one will see you later, the other will see you in a while Greeting Card
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My housekeeping style can be best described as "there appears to have been a struggle" Hardcover Journal
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The officer said "you drinking?" I said "you buying?" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money. Hardcover Journal
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I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason. Greeting Card
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There are 7 billion people in the world. I can only tolerate like 6 of you. Spiral Notebook
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It's called Karma and it's pronounced: ha-ha, fuck you! Greeting Card
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Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is Hardcover Journal
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Tell someone you love them today, because life is short But shout it at them in german, because life is also terrifying and confusing Greeting Card
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I hate when i think I'm buying organic vegetables and when I get home I realize they're regular donuts Spiral Notebook
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Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play? Joke Greeting Card
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Some people are so judgmental, I can tell just by looking at them. - One liner Hardcover Journal
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Modesty is just one of my many great attributes. - One liner Hardcover Journal
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Saying rave to me is like saying walkies to a dog Blue Spiral Notebook
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