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It's not that difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart... one will see you later, the other will see you in a while Hardcover Journal
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I'm just a Poe boy nobody loves me Spiral Notebook
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The Sarcasm Foundation Spiral Notebook
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This is not a drill Greeting Card
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My housekeeping style can be best described as "there appears to have been a struggle" Spiral Notebook
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The Element of Surprise Hardcover Journal
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it isn't that i'm not a people person, I'm just not a stupid people person Greeting Card
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I have the right to remain silent i just don't have the ability Hardcover Journal
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Exercise... bacon. Greeting Card
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The sarcasm is strong with this one Greeting Card
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A haiku about getting out of bed Greeting Card
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Close enough Greeting Card
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Hmmmm... and yet another day has passed and I did not use algebra once. Very interesting. Greeting Card
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Some people say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people. Postcard
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You can't choose your family but you can choose your therapist Postcard
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WOW look at me adulting all over the place Hardcover Journal
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Not my circus, not my monkeys Greeting Card
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The officer said "you drinking?" I said "you buying?" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money. Hardcover Journal
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There are 7 billion people in the world. I can only tolerate like 6 of you. Greeting Card
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I would like to think I will die a heroic death, but it’s more likely I’ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting. Greeting Card
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There's never an outlet where you need one. Postcard
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Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, worthless, baconless years. Spiral Notebook
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Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is Hardcover Journal
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I'm not a doctor, but I'm definitely qualified to go "Hmmmm..." Greeting Card
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I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really got on my nerves. Greeting Card
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I hate when i think I'm buying organic vegetables and when I get home I realize they're regular donuts Postcard
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Think ...or thwim. Greeting Card
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I have CDO It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order AS THEY SHOULD BE Greeting Card
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Doyouthinkhesaurus Greeting Card
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Some days I amaze myself. Other days I can't remember what day it is Postcard
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Some things are better left alone. Like me, for instance. Spiral Notebook
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perp Postcard
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Short stuff Postcard
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You all realize that I'm going to snap one day, right? Greeting Card
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An apple a day keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough Postcard
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Fair to middlin Greeting Card
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Skinny people are easy to kidnap... stay safe, eat pie Hardcover Journal
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Broken pencils are pointless Greeting Card
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Can't get out of bed send help or waffles just send waffles Hardcover Journal
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I'm hungry, but I'm not HUNGRY hungry Postcard
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Your mom. - Sigmund Freud. Greeting Card
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Yep Spiral Notebook
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Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, neither do I. Greeting Card
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It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm actually quite busy. Postcard
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WISH YOU WERE BEER! Greeting Card
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Will work for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Greeting Card
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If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable Hardcover Journal
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Digerati Spiral Notebook
SolarconSix
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Sports Player Spiral Notebook
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There's no place like 127.0.0.1 Spiral Notebook
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To err is human. To Arr is pirate. Spiral Notebook
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One by one the penguins are slowly stealing my sanity Spiral Notebook
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It's all fun and games until someone divides by zero Greeting Card
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Cal-Tauri's Starship Services Postcard
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Hipster Fox Hardcover Journal
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Low Polly Greeting Card
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Low poly fox Spiral Notebook
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I heart club music Spiral Notebook
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I think I need my dumbrella things are getting pretty stupid out there Greeting Card
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Exclamation! Greeting Card
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I don't always carry on but when I do it's with my wayward son Spiral Notebook
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Boomshakalaka Postcard
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Grasshopper Greeting Card
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This beer tastes like I'm not going to work tomorrow Greeting Card
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Introverts unite we're here we're uncomfortable and we want to go home Spiral Notebook
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Nothing ruins your friday like realizing it's only tuesday Greeting Card
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Meh. Postcard
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I don't know about you, but I have thought about running away from home way more often as an adult then I ever did as a kid Spiral Notebook
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A dingo 8 my baby - black Greeting Card
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Ain't 1 Spiral Notebook
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I tell dad jokes Postcard
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Call me ma'am one more time and I'll call you an ambulance Hardcover Journal
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INTROVERTED!!! Spiral Notebook
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Me? Sarcastic? Never. Spiral Notebook
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If my dog doesn't like you, neither do I Spiral Notebook
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Canadian - Stop asking me to say "out and about" Greeting Card
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Back up for grabs Postcard
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Animal Greeting Card
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Taco emergency! Call 9 juan juan! Greeting Card
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re•cur•sion [ri-kur-zhuhn] n. See recursion. Hardcover Journal
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Happy Campers! Postcard
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Camping Greeting Card
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