evon ski

Joined June 2009

enjoy making direct work from natural materials in my prairie and wildlife sanctuary. / i am a very restless person and I work in many...

thoughts on riding/navigating the creative flow . . .

I am off from teaching for the summer. I look forward to this change up of routine, but I am taken by surprise again and again. I forget that the transition period is usually uncomfortable. I don’t know why, maybe it is denial. I need a certain amount of quietness, space and down time in my life. As I grow older, no doubt I handle certain situations better, swifter, return to balance and move on with more efficiency. I also seem to take on more and what was once impossible is now do-able . . . but exhausting. We only have so much time and so much energy. When I am in a high activity period – crazy working and running around . . I get behind in emotionally processing the everyday events/states of life. When everything finally stops, I find I crash, collapse and am overwhelmed by the level of complex emotions that are unleashed. To complicate the situation, when I become too busy . . I stop making art. . . . and that is a shame. It is also truly NOT healthy for me. Art is a way of life, a way of processing life, a way of allowing life to flow through me. As crazy as it may sound, everytime I stop drawing/painting . . a part of me believes I no longer can draw. Sort of the “what have you done for me lately” Mad Artist part to be specific. Even though on one level I do have faith to believe I WILL make work again, this is a nagging hurdle to overcome. The worst thing I can do is try to start out drawing difficult technical work, when I am not warmed up. That only feeds the defeated part of me that will kick my ass for making mistakes. The tightness of that work is demanding and requires both great focused concentration and a looseness. It flows better when I am relaxed. I am better off to begin with large automatic free-form works that allow me to move my arms and shouders and draw with my whole body, bare foot, hair tied back and loose painty work clothes. There is a bleeding off period, an emptying that is critical. As in prayer and mediation, I find emptying needs to be first and filling can then take place. With-holding judgement is key, while the DOING, making, creating in whatever form or way I am moved is of paramount importance. Forget the goal of making masterpieces or even anything good . . . just start.

I have been making art most of my life. When I went to grad school to pursue my Masters, I began to draw regularly and produce a lot of work. This is necessary, but of course everything else suffers . . . laundry, cleaning, meal prep, hobbies, entertaining and yard work, all go by the way of neglect. Marriage did too as many do. Although I have been teaching art classes for 18 years, I have not put effort into selling or marketing. I have began to step up to the plate to transition into making a living for myself selling my work. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t like it. It takes me away from drawing. I believe it is necessary otherwise I would not do it, but I am conflicted. The “business” of art takes me away from “making” art. Even though I am pretty good it, I don’t like framing, designing collateral materials, curating shows, shleping work around, running to galleries, printers, art supply stores and spending hours on the internet researching and pursuing leads. Art reps are expensive, they take 50% as do large galleries . . . the business of art takes time and effort. I remember a conversation I had with the outrageously talented infamous Loui Jover, (such a doll) . . . I remarked about his tremendous output of work, I mean that man is like a fantastic machine. He said to me, “Yvonca, that is literally the only thing I do. I make art all day, every day. It is the ONE thing I do.”
He is a master artist and it shows. He is an inspirational Art God to me. My take away from all this is simply: I cannot afford the stop and starts of on and off art making . . they are just too costly to me on every level. While I cannot regularly make art all day long, I need to make art REGULARLY ~ so I don’t have these thawing out warm up periods that eat up time and are so tough emotionally. I made art for an entire day last Thursday and it felt soo GREAT. I must find the balance between working on the business of art and actually making the art that feeds my soul. I share this because I know many of us creative artists struggle with earning a living and finding we are so exhausted we have no energy left to devote to what gives us joy. I don’t know about you but joy needs priority in my life. Thanks for reading and your thoughts are most welcome.

Journal Comments

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