Illusion

It started

With the first scream

The first

Illusion

Invading my mind

The first voice

Inside my head

My heart

My soul

I had trouble

Separating

Reality

From what wasn’t really

There

I had no way

To tell

When it was mania

Or truth

My parents

Took me

Away

In the back

Of a beat-up old

Hippie van

My mother and father

Ashamed

Of what I had become

What had I become?

A sorry

Excuse

For life?

No way to tell

My dreams

From reality

How would I ever

Know?

They took me

Locked me up

In a room

Four walls

A window

With a thick curtain

Were they

Protecting me

From the outside?

Or protecting the outside

From me?

My mother

Told me

To stay away

From the one window

My one outlet

To the outside world

My only hope

But I listened

To her one request

Because

Despite

Everything

I loved her

Dearly

And her word

Was law

They

(My parents)

Would visit me

Every day

I think

There was no way to tell

Time

In my room

My prison

After

A week

A month?

A year?

Who could tell?

The illusions never

Stopped

The mania

Lurked

I had no hope

No way

To escape

The door was

Locked

Always

No other

Exit

Except…

I walked

To the window

A spark of

Hope

After all this time

Giddy

I ripped the curtain

Away

And saw

A brick wall

My hopes were

Dashed

I was stuck

Here

Forever

With no way out

The curtain with no purpose

The window

Just another

Illusion

Illusion

Jaqui Ashiya

Joined September 2008

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