The pet blotter (humor)

We started out with other cats but they died…..very sad…..now we have two replacement cats…..both are indoor only cats…

First we have Maggie….a Himalayan….about 11 years old…..very quiet cat…sleeps a lot….comes over to me about twice a week for a pet….very small……eats very light……all hair…..

And we have Sammy….a huge black cat….he roams all over but mainly stays in the basement….He is responsible for bug patrol…..or so he tells himself…I tell him he needs to get a life ….he reminds me that he is a cat and that he lives a typical cat life…ok he has got me there …Sammy is about 4 years old…very affectionate….and will rub your legs for hours if you let him…..he also is an escape artist….and will rush an open door and run in the bushes outside….but he stays in the bushes because he is a fraidy cat….haha on Sammy…(I admit that sometimes I lower myself to cat level…..but only to talk to them)

I talk to both of them in baby talk….that way they know when I am talking to them….and yes they are like babies….like kids with fur…..

I also have nicknames for them….Mags….is Maggie…..also sometimes known as Magnolia….sometimes she seems like a snootie southern belle….definitely a McCain voter….we argue about it….and usually she wins…..too smart for me…lol….I admit it….she understands the tax code ….

Sammy is Samuel…or Sam-a-doe……and he has a the same last name as the other pets….Rutherford……but in baby talk that becomes Rudderford…..so when I call him, it is “SAM-A-DOEEEEEEEEEEE RUDDERFORDDDDDDDD”…..This is said in sing song style…..then if I think he snuck outside….. but I am not sure if he did….I talk a bit louder and say…“HEADCOUNT, HEADCOUNT”…..then when he appears…..I say……“One”…..(because he is the only one I count….yes I can count past one….lol)

Finally we have a puppy…OK he is a dog…. Toby…..a shorkie…17 months old…3 quarters Yorkie and one quarter Shitzu….a very strong willed and dominate type dog….weighs about 7 pounds….recently he was taken to the vet and was neutered…he and Sammy had this thing…..now it is over….nether has the thing anymore……Toby is the cutest dog I heve ever seen…..( Sorry Spot….my old dog when I was with my ex-wife, Nancy)…..Toby follows me around …he monitors me all the time to see if I am going to take him for a walk or car ride…I tell myself that he follows me because he likes me…..

Toby…. has a nickname too….it is Hoodie when he wears his sweatshirt outfit with the cute little hood…..he is the basic trouble maker…..dominating the cats…eating cat food….barking at people who are far away walking on the street…..he wants to excape and never come back….he wants to run away from home….I tell him he has it good here….but he just flips me off….. he also thinks he is cute……but I tell him ….looks are only skin deep…..then he says…..“well looks helped Geo Bush get elected TWICE”…..and he says that with a sarcastic put down style….Ok Ok….he is also smarter than me….he also told me he has 100% paid health care….he is right…..he goes on and on….and I really dont want to talk about it…..lol

The pet blotter (humor)

yevad98

Oconto, United States

  • Artist
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Artist's Description

The pets are all smarter than me.

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cat dog pets smart

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