Hungry (chapter 3)

It has been about three days since our food ran out. I only know this because I have rang the bell about six times.
Tony and Haley have not spoken since their argument and right now Ben is wandering around up stairs with the priest. Sarah is sitting with Haley but neither of them are saying anything.
Emily is sitting with me telling me about how her and her boyfriend used to go walking around the streets at night holding hands and looking in the shop windows.
Shame he’s dead, I say in my mind, and she stops talking. She is examining me, her eyes squinting.
“Why would you say something like that?”
Like what?
But I’m thinking, Did I say that out loud?
“You just said, I’m glad he’s dead,”
No I didn’t.
“Yes you did. I heard you say it!”
Are you sure? It doesn’t sound like something I’d say, and I’m wondering if I really did say it. Did I? Then I say, Are you sure you aren’t projecting?
“Projecting? Projecting what?”
You know, maybe some where deep down in your sub-conscious you are glad he is dead and you are hearing your own thoughts and projecting them onto me because it is easier to verbalize that way. Maybe you don’t want to face the fact that you actually hated him. Because I am telling you right now I never said a word about him. (Did I?)
Emily is blinking and then, “Oh my God. I’m glad he’s dead. I’m a terrible person.” Then she bursts out crying, her head falls into me and she is sobbing into my chest. Maybe it makes me a bad person too, because I like it. I can feel her warm tears soaking through onto my skin and her hot breath with each sob. She is snorting back snot and as disgusting as it may seem I’m getting turned on. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, my nose buried in her chocolate hair.
“Okay, okay break it up you two,” Ben comes walking back in with the priest. Emily sits up and pulls away from me.
“I think we need to start making a decision about whether we stay or we leave, we are all getting hungry and most of us aren’t sleeping,” says Sarah.
“That’s what I’ve been saying from the goddamn start. No one is out there with a search party looking for survivors, they will be lucky to be surviving themselves. We stay here, we die.” Tony has stopped pacing.
“I’m inclined to agree with Tony. Maybe we should vote on it,” says Sarah.
“I’m not going anywhere,” says Haley.
“Big fucking surprise,” says Tony.
“I don’t think we should be giving up our fortifications so easily. I mean we won’t have anywhere to come back to if we leave and it doesn’t work out. No, I’m staying, even if everyone else goes, I’m staying put,” say Ben, and he is looking around the room, listening to the bashing and scraping.
“What about you preacher? You got the minerals to leave or you going to stay here like a scared fucking rabbit?”
“Well I suppose God helps those that help themselves. I’d be willing to try and find a way out but it would have to be a good plan and not a suicide mission.”
That is exactly what you’d expected him to say. Or something like it anyway.
“So that leaves you two,” says Tony.
“I don’t think I can face those things again. At least not yet. Can’t we just stay for a little while longer? Just in case the army are still coming.”
“NO ONE IS COMING YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. THEY ARE ALL DEADER THAN ELVIS,” Tony turns to Sarah. “Talk some fucking sense into them will you for fuck’s sake.”
Sarah is looking at me, “So what will you do?”
I tell her, I’m staying, for now I think it is the best option. Escape is suicide.
For a moment everyone just stands around looking at each other. Tony is shaking his head slowly and forces out a mock laugh, “You fucking gutless pieces of shit.” Then he turns to face Haley, “I bet you’re fucking happy. You had better keep your goddamn mouth shut when I’m around or I’ll shut it for you, permanently.” He storms off and becomes lost among the shadows.
“He didn’t mean that Haley, he is just pissed because he didn’t get his own way. We are all hungry and tired and stressed, he’ll go have a sulk and then when he is calm we can all talk it out,” says Sarah.
“No. He wants to kill me, I can see it in his eyes. He’d feed me to those things if it meant he could escape. He hates me.” Haley is crying and covering her face up with the sheet she has wrapped around her. To me she resembles the virgin Mary. Crying in the cathedral, looking like the virgin Mary. Its all very biblical.
Outside the armies of the dead are bashing and moaning. Ben starts his little routine, his ritual. Peering out through the windows.
“We should gather together everything that we can use as a weapon and maybe even try and teach the women how to fight. Just in case,’ He says.
The priest says, “I’d better go talk to Tony.”
My stomach grumbles and I think, damn it, I missed my chance with Emily. Then I snap my head around, to see if anyone heard my thoughts.

Hungry (chapter 3)

Wordslinger

Brisbane, Australia

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