LOSS AND LEAVING

My cat went out the window to die two days ago.
Some cold relentless presence invaded his body
Not allowing him any peace.
His once soft flowing brown and white fur turned
Into dry carpet remnants.
The fiercely loving presence that sparkled so in his eyes
Morphed into a dull glossy stare.
The ferociously intense hunter that prowled the yard
Knew he had become prey and stayed inside.
The vet said he would get better, and regain his appetitite
As he went from twelve pounds to ten to nine.
And again in her office she said he would get better -
His poor shrunken body now barely half his former weight.
I could do nothing but lovingly hold him, encouraging him to eat
When I knew it was so painful he couldn’t.
We stared at each other in caring and confusion
As I fed him the broken pills that hurt so to swallow.
Then when there was no light in his eyes anymore,
To love with or be loved,
He knew it was time, and left.

When my hair turns into tangled threads
And the bright fierceness begins to leave my eyes
I hope I can follow my brave cats example
And leave my bodily home before I’ve forgotten how to love
Or be loved – because lacking that – are we still alive?

LOSS AND LEAVING

Willace

Tarzana, United States

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