road train blues

she lay there cold and hard and dead
I’d never seen a dead body before
I remembered what she’d said
I have a feeling I won’t be here much longer…

the phone call came early one morning
I was at work and started to cry
she’d hit a semi trailer they said
in the car I’d helped her buy

24 is way too young
the semi hardly left a mark
just a gash on her shoulder blade
it was like God had plucked her from our sight

I marveled at the frozen zit
hardened by fridge and formaldehyde
is nothing sacred? I asked myself
this nauseous lump the only sign of life

my childhood friend had premised this
only a week before
her predestined thump and quickened entry
knocking on Heaven’s door

and I’m left to ponder what responsibility do I share?
in helping a friend to buy the car
that hurtled her across mid-air
right through the windscreen

damned if I do
damned if I don’t
I’ll be damned

love you…

© wildwomenlove poetry
09.01.10

road train blues

wildwomenlove

ADELAIDE, Australia

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Artist's Description

when I was 23 my close girlfriend who I had known since 5 was killed instantly in a car crash. although I’d had three grand parents die before this, she was the first dead body I had ever seen, and she was young. although she looked at peace, she had been in the fridge, and afterwards I couldn’t wipe the image from my mind. I asked friends for smiling photos, so I could reprogram the horror of it from my minds eye.

I am well healed so I can write about it now, but the memory of her premonition, and me helping her buy the car remain. I know it was helping and loving a friend, but it stills plays on your mind, the what IF’s, they always play on your mind…

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