*Today, we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directives.*
Macs suck. They don't run any software. I mean none. It has no Internet Explorer and no Start menu. But it doesn't need a Start menu, because there are no programs for it. What's up with them not having floppy drives? "Ohh, I'm a mac, and I'm too cool for floppy disks." And seriously, one button mice? No thank you.
Windows! Don't get me started. Windows always crashes. Always. Just the other day I tried to save a file. Boom! Blue Screen of DEATH! Yes, death. Plus, Windows is so ugly. It's like they don't even care about style and stuff. Windows, more like Windblows.
Linux is for nerds. What is an Ubuntu anyway? You-bun-two? Why would I bother to learn some crappy system that doesn't even work with games? But, really. No normal person could use Linux, you have to compile everything yourself. Want to check email? Have to compile it. Want to use a keyboard? Have to compile it.
Chrome OS? Chrome is not an OS it's a browser. And it's a junk browser at that. No features, just "fast". The address bar searches Google. That agenda isn't obvious. And I don't care what you say, if it doesn't have a desktop then it is not a _real_ computer. If it doesn't have a desktop then where do you put your files? I have important files, you know.
*Wear this shirt:* when buying a new computer.
*Don't wear this shirt:* to Bill Gates' house. The man banned iPhones, you think that's getting through the door?
*This shirt tells the world:* I like it every way.
*We call this color:* Blank monitor black.