Saturdays and Coffee

This would not be the first time we had meet here. This was not the first time that we hid out here. A common ground, half way in between the miles that separated you and me. Only 13 but some days you might as well been sitting at the opposite end of the world from me.

Driving down I wondered if you received the message I left on your machine?

Pulling in I scope out the parking lot looking to find your car waiting for me there. I know I’m early but still I look. Hoping by chance to find you there waiting. I grab my bags filled with countless note books. Each one a different color filled with ideas, little tiny scribbled notes here and there on random pages. They have been much neglected over the past few months. My life has been running in circles, so out of control. I seriously can’t remember the last coherent thought I had. I have begun countless paragraphs but have never been able to finish or bring them much to closer. Bit’s and pieces of my life written here spread across sheets of paper waiting for me to organize them. I figure I will have something to keep me busy while I sit and wait.

I wait to be seated as the waitress ask me if I’m alone tonight. I hesitate in my reply. I ask for a table for two tonight, and tell her I’m not sure if the other party will make it tonight. Again I wonder if that message made its way to you. But again at the same time I have come prepared just incase. This Saturday night that I was able to slip away from my life will not go wasted.
She seats me at a small booth by the window, not much of a view but I face where I may keep my eye on the door. I spread my notebooks out across the table and search in the bottom of my purse for that favorite pen. I can’t remember where I snagged it from but I love the way the pen flows across my paper. It’s a little larger than the common pen and bright red but once in the grasp of my right hand I know that I can rely on this one pen to let my words flow. I know it wont fail me.
The room where I sit is rather empty for a Saturday night. Only a few people, small families having dinner here tonight. The waiter approaches my booth and asks if I’m ready to order for the night. I stop and think that I have not eaten since noon and yes I’m secretly starving inside but I pass by on a meal and just order a cup of coffee to pull me through the night. He leaves and I stare out the window for few minutes pondering thoughts and wondering about you.
My coffee now resting at the table I begin to write , I write freely the first few thoughts on my mind, random crap but the pen begins to flow. After 15 minutes I realize that I have filled up 3 and half pages, and still have not touched my cup of coffee. I sip the heavy brew and read over the pages I just filled. Amazing to see where my thoughts lead me. From these 3 and half pages of scribbles I have formed about 5 different works. I see how back logged my mind has become.
I nurse down the rest of my lukewarm coffee and curse the damn Non- smoking. I could really use a quick smoke right now. After all
coffee and cigarettes’ go hand in hand. Well at least in my book they do. To chilly tonight to stand outside and have one. I bide my time and look out the window behind me, the one that over looks the back parking lot. I look to make sure I parked where you would see me. Just as I look I see what looks like you car drive by. I continue to watch out the window hoping that this car will pull in next to mine. It doesn’t it parks on the other side.
I go back to writing again after I receive another cup of coffee. The waiter again ask me if I would like to order any thing. I’m thinking a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign right now would be nice. One that say’s “ Just keep the coffee coming, and No I do not want pie.!” the waiter leaves my table and I check the front door one more time. I know I have been sitting here for about an hour and it should be time for you to walk in the door. I see a figure of a man coming down the path way leading to the front door from the comer of my eye my heart skips a few beats and then the shadow walks right on by. I go back to getting lost in my writing. The pen speeds across the paper as fast as the words can flow. My penmanship is big and bulky not my normal but there is so much inside my head I can feel as the thoughts line up inside my head, pushing and shoving at each other waiting to get placed on the paper. None of them seem to want to wait their turn. I write fast, my favorite pen in hand never skipping a beat.
I begin to feel at ease the thoughts are now just trickling in, my writing is now some what ledge able , my pen flows smoothly now and we write staying within the lines of the paper. I feel refreshed inside as if I had just lighten my load. I reach for another sip of coffee and see a man walking by the window. It’s dark outside and all I can see again is a faint silhouette of a man. Minutes pass as I begin to wonder what time it is now. I finish a few more lines to what I had just wrote and decide that maybe I will brave the cold to go and smoke a quick one. I also decide that if you don’t make here tonight that I won’t be upset. After all this Saturday night was not wasted, I was able to catch up with myself and relax.
Just as I look up to put my one notebook away and pull out another one I see just a torso of a body standing before me, at first I think fricken waiter guy, but as my eye’s make way up to the face I realize that it is you standing there looking at me and my pile of journals.
Immediate butterflies fill me inside, my face becomes flush as I stumble to utter a Hello to you. Words don’t come from my lips just a smile as my eye’s meet yours. You tell me you were in the neighborhood and thought you would stop by, I laugh inside knowing that you drove out of your way to meet me here once again tonight. Then I realize that the shadow I saw outside was you. But I won’t mention this to you. I will tuck this away inside of my head and pull it out again some later day when I begin to wonder about you. This Saturday night here in this run down place that we have meet before, I will be satisfied knowing that you finally meet me here for that cup of coffee that started this night two years ago.
I will sit here still overcome with butterflies. I will reflect on all the times that you have ‘found me’ and I will feel good inside. I will hope for more Saturday’s and coffee knowing that you will be there by my side…….01/17/09

Saturdays and Coffee


Joined February 2008

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