Welcome to the grocery store..

My goal here is to vent a little to you and to possibly help some of you that just don’t get it. If you haven’t guessed I work for a large grocery chain. Forty hours a week I dedicate out of my life just to earn a pay check at the end of the week just like you. I put on a ‘cheesy uniform’ five days a week just to earn money to feed the kids.
These are just a few guide lines that will help make life easier on us all.
Many of our jobs that we go to every day deal with the public in some way. We all have those “Customers” that tend to make life a living hell for us. We even have ‘special names’ for some of you. So please just try and do your part when you come in and help me out here.

What not to do at the grocery store a few guide lines to make this easier on all of us,

1. When you pull in the parking lot please try to avoid hitting my car that is parked there. Twice now it has been hit. Please note I do park on the out skirts far away to avoid this from happening. This is the only car I have and I work here because I’m still making payments on it.

2.When you walk in the store please feel free to look around before you ask me where the twenty items on your list are located at. I feel better knowing that you can handle this on your own. I mean we let you drive here by yourself right?

3. Isle locaters they hang every where. Utilize them!!!

4. I personally do not make the prices go up. They don’t pay me enough to do that type of math. Please call corporate they have nicer people there, they get paid more to hear you complain, I just want to get my 8 hour shift over with.

5. If there is no one in a department please remember we like to let our employees take a break, eat lunch, ect: it makes us happier. By the way we have bladders too! And if it’s after 8pm chances are they went home to rest knowing they had to come back again tomorrow to deal with you .I don’t know why they didn’t wait just for you to come in. Our hours are posted on the door. We don’t sleep in the back room we have houses as well and we would like to see our families too.
6. Express line, now that’s a tricky one for so many of you. Let me see if I can help here. Normally 15 item is the max. 15 items is 15. Not 20, Not 50, just because your in a hurry or left your dog in the car does not mean you can come through. 15. Anything under that is fine.
Here’s the tricky part – a bag of apples containing 15 apples in a BAG, contained is ONE item. Now if your apples are loose and uncontained then they count as an item a piece.
Easy enough right ? It’s O.K I anticipate a few of you laying in bed running this one over in your head.

7.When you write your check out don’t ask me what store your at? You drove here didn’t you?

8. Children please contain them, we are not a day care.

9. Don’t tell me about the weather outside. First of all I know that is cold out or rainy or snowy I’m not blind! Think of something more creative please to tell me! Or something worth while to say. I’ve had 200 people in the last hour come through my line and Say to me “It’s cold outside.“ now if cows are dropping from the sky you might have my attention.

10. While on the express lane PLEASE do not look for change in the bottom of your pocket or purse. EXpress, look that word up, here I will save you the time (fast delivery service: a special rapid delivery service or the organization providing it)
Please help out in this! The twenty other people behind you are counting on you. Don’t fail them.

11. Don’t bring me a random item or call me for a price on a random item and get pissed because I put you on hold or don‘t know off the top of my head…we sell over ten thousand different products and I’m sorry I failed you because I don’t have them all memorized.

12.. Please threaten me with shopping with the other store.. most likely you’re an ass hole anyways, I’m glad you won’t be here any more. By the way, See you next week. We will do this again.

13.. Grocery store… this means we sell food. I don’t make keys and there is NO hardware department

14.When your sick please don’t stand there hacking and wiping your nose then smile at me as you hand me your money. Now you know why the lines are long…my employees went home sick because you so kindly shared your cold with them.

15. When the lines are a mile long please again note…There is no one to call for help. Remember they all went home sick! We just had this discussion.

16. Nine times out of ten my checker was pleasant to you, But I think you continued to piss them off! So yeah, she might have seemed a little ‘pissy’ to you. They can only take so much from you. They like me are watching the clock so they can just go home.

17. Our pricing is correct. You are the one that can’t figure out that Buy one get one free means exactly that! Lets try and not make this any harder. Here is another scenario; Three for ten dollars or two for dollars, think about it? What does this tell you? I really wonder how many of you survive in this world.

18. Don’t come to me and ask me what ingredients your Aunt used in her casserole and where to find them. I sell groceries and do not write recipes for a living. Have you ever heard of a cookbook? Oh yeah I forgot you can’t figure out pricing so why should I expect you to go home and read?

19. On reading.. Please read the weekly add and make sure you fully understand what it is trying to tell you. Selected varieties means just that. It does not mean the one you selected it means the ones Corporate has selected to put on sell. For example when the add states a 15oz jar it does not include the 50 oz jar at that price. Please read the add just don’t skim over the pictures. I know reading can be a tough job for some of you. Personally I’m still amazed that most of you found your way here.

20. What would help more in this is to make sure you have our add in your hands and not someone else’s. I find this helps. And please make sure you have this weeks add not last weeks. Again the adds are dated please stay current like the rest of us. I hate making you feel like the idiot you really are.

21. Let’s talk carry outs.. Do you really need someone to carry out your one bag of vitamins and protein bars while your dressed in you gym clothes? Am I missing something here? Now you do look like an idiot.

22. When we ask if you would like HELP out and you say, yes, we offered Help, not us putting your crap in the car while you sit in the front seat.

23.Animals, I’m not stupid. There is no such thing as your seeing eye snake, rat ect: We are a grocery store not a pet store. They are located down the street. Please feel free to pay them a visit. They would love to have you and your pet.

24.Please don’t ask me to talk to a manager, if you would read my name tag you would know you are talking to the manager. Oh, There’s that reading thing again. Want me to draw you a picture? Would that help?

25. When leaving the store please return your cart to the corral this way you won’t come in and tell me that a cart blew into your car and left a dent or scratch on the side. The corrals are there for a reason, use them wisely.

Again this is just some heart felt advice. I’m really just trying to make life easier all the way around. It’s a tough world out there and I like you just want to put in my eight hours, go home, drink, (because after dealing with you I need to drink) and share my days events about your dumb ass with my family and friends. I know that I will wake up and have to do this all over again. Just please do your part. I would love to know where you work so I could come and visit you on your job one day!

See you next week!

Welcome to the grocery store..


Joined February 2008

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