Changing Awareness

She stood at the bedroom window and looked into the garden. Her stare did not absorb the vista nor was she aware of her surroundings. She sighed. Deep in thought, she loudly refuted her inner voice that remanded her to stay at home. Her steps led her from the room and as she walked, she unknowingly stepped into a different state of being.

Her oxygen starved brain produced a blue face whilst her hands formed bird-like claws. Confused, she walked to the door and heard the laughter of one as he looked at her, and asked; “what’s wrong with you?” She stood in silence and uncertainty as her life allowed death into her midst. Against her leg’s desire to fold, her immense strength kept her upright. She was told to lie down underneath the desk, and like an obedient dog she obeyed. That is where the ambulance men found her. Barely breathing, she looked up into eyes reflecting concern. From that moment on, her reality switched between the strong contrast of the physical and spirit as each beckoned her to into their respective worlds.

Whilst the physical was lying unaware, the Spiritual self was upon its knees. God have mercy; let rot not conquer Thy Pure Soul. Allow not the stench to enter the domain of Thy Healing Fragrances. Behold here the darkness, to not enter and dim Thy Eternal Light of Truth and Brilliance. God of Grace and Mercy accept my plea! Feverishly she prayed to not leave this domain with the Earthly energies still attached to her Spirit.

Voices started to drone into her ears. Her hands gripped around the cold stainless bed and she opened her eyes into a light above her head. Bitter coldness penetrated her body. The urgency within the voices became soft whispers that drifted into the grey shadows to become darkness. The time measured within the earthly hour of life saving held no value to her as she drifted away from the words and faces. The process took her deeper into her Spiritual consciousness.

She followed guidance within. Finally he had come for her; he was the beautiful soul that held her fragile heart within his rough hands. As promised by God, he had arrived to take her away from the pain that had consumed her entire life. He would lead her into their promised land of Paradise where they could express their love. His was the human hand that God had shown her in a dream. With him, she was safe. As she fell, his immense hand of strength reached her inner being, and, he held fast onto her spirit of life.

Whilst separating from the physical, she discerned the barnacles that had attached themselves to her and sucked and dimmed the brilliance of her life’s potential. As though a surgical knife, Judgement cut deeply into her Spirit. In apathy she observed how the humanness was stripped from her Soul. As the energies fell away her bleeding soul flushed the human emotion from her being. She recognised the empty faces that had in gluttony fed upon her, yet judged her within the measurement of their empty earthly values.

Having served their purpose, emotions that were attached to people and situations were severed from her psyche. In doing so, their respective energies sunk back into their source of an unknown space and time. She also recognised those that should never return into her Spirits’ face. Her inner Court demanded that she stood in quiet observation; just as we humans do when we stand beside a grave. As the departed energies descended into the earth she separated herself from the human remains and mentally embraced her Spiritual reality.

As the heaviness of the earthly life fell away, she became lighter. Unencumbered and fearless she moved through the illusion of time and space into the essence of their beginning. Like a wild fig tree that has fastened itself across a rock, his strength embraced her as she clung to him. They could not allow failure. They instinctively knew that death to one is fatal to the other. This was their ultimate chance to again become one exalted Soul with a greater than one consciousness. As though quenching an immense thirst, the Spiritual waters of their union flooded her roots and swept her along to the very beginning where the seed formed their togetherness, to now quench their eternal search for union.

As the days of her life fell away, she stripped each memory to its core. She measured both their lives against the set values of Spirit. It was as though their physical merged to hold her in life whilst she reached into the core of their Spirit being to unlock the secret of their union. Like a mere feather drifting into the Cosmos she became a face without a place. As she walked down into the valley, her human expression dropped away until she stopped breathing. Yet, she was more alive than ever before.

The last time I saw her she was walking towards the summit of the mountain. To her right, the barren land overlooked the sea. To her left, a lush forest covered the slopes that formed a deep valley extending towards a river below. Her gaze never met with these vistas. It was fixed upon her steps. As though deliberated thoughts shifted her feet, her stooped body would rest upon each knee as she slowly climbed towards the top. Occasionally she would very briefly pause and look towards the summit, gauging her strength. She never looked back. She knew what she had left behind.

At the foot of the hill a young boy was sitting very still. He watched her every step. He would not move away until she had reached the end of her climb. It was he that told me their story. He was no boy, just as she was not an old woman. They both were reminded of their quest in an identical dream within respective human bodies. They realised their quest to never again be separated. Again, they are One Immortal Soul.

She made it back from where they said no one could return. She is still alone, perhaps even more so than ever before, as her changing reality became her One Life.

Changing Awareness

Betty Smith_Voce

Joined January 2010

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Artist's Description

My life changing event. A real life story of the 14 days wherein somewhere life left and returned into a human body, leaving its effects of a “system failure” and its effects upon life.

This write encompasses the day at the hospital, the following 14 days at home, of which 7 were in total isolation without any food or water. There was no medical intervention of any kind.

The explanation to the experiences and visions only became apparent through the 5 years of healing. Thus at the time, I did not understand or have clarity about what I was going through I observed in a passive mode. It is only through the healing process that it became apparent what actually transpired in the mind and why.
To regain the human awareness is not a flick of the switch, it is a progressive stage of healing – perhaps like climbing that mountain
!

A friend that saw me 2 weeks after the event years later explained what she had seen. These were her words; "…it was not you sitting there… it was just a jacket around a very cold body…there was nothing else…you were not within that jacket or body and I could feel its coldness from where I sat."

Changing awareness as in in and out focus


MCN: CUQGS-UNWY1-F8ABU


Click here to view Paired Within by Sure2010

December 16, 2010

Artwork Comments

  • HamperRefuser
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  • Photography  by Mathilde
  • Betty Smith_Voce
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