The Afternoon Drunk

They open at eleven and he comes in about quarter past, sits at the end of the bar, orders the cheapest pint he can and starts talking to anyone who’ll listen. It’s all ill-founded bollocks: he’ll put anyone straight on any subject and be wrong every time, stubborn plank frustration for anyone who so much as meets his eye. The pub is never so clean as on the days he’s there – the barmaids would rather wipe down the walls of the glass-washing room than talk to him and put up with his revolting advances. He looks down on the business lunchers with their filled baguettes and halves of imported lager – “You want to get one of these inside you, mate,” – and they shudder and hurry away to the friendly daylight of the window tables. Coming past later with the dirty plates, one of the barmaids gets caught, is polite for as long as she can then puts him in his place with a ripe expletive. She won’t lose her job, though – the afternoon drunk’ll always come back for the cheapest bitter in the city.

The afternoon wears on; the lunchers depart, here come that couple who are probably having an affair and Elaine, who works weird hours. At five the barmaids start moving the tables into the shed to make room for the evening crowd. By half past six, the skinny girls and hair gel boys are making the afternoon drunk uncomfortable and he takes his leave.

The Afternoon Drunk

Tuliptree

Woking, United Kingdom

  • Artist
    Notes
  • Artwork Comments 6

Artist's Description

A friend whom I thought had stopped writing has suddenly started again, much to my delight. He emailed me a partially completed list of written sketches entitled Types of Drinkers and invited me to write pieces to go under some of the headings. This is one of them. The other is The Annoying Drunk which I may share here too. Thanks for reading.

Artwork Comments

  • kromwellfarkus
  • Tuliptree
  • TheWanderingBoo
  • Tuliptree
  • SimplyRed
  • Tuliptree
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.