Journal

Drunk at 4:00

If you are drunk by 4:00 I am ashamed of you! If you have not shit your pants and passed out by 3:00 I question your commitment. Do you want to be great? Drink harder, you pussy!

First Things First

The first thing I like to do every morning is take a big hairy crap. Then I try to get out of bed quietly so as not to wake my wife.
Yes. Yes, I think this will absolutely skyrocket my sales.

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