Spiciest Storie ever bean toll'd

Once u-pun a thyme, Basil and Rosemarie lived with their grandparents, Cloves and Sage in Spiceville near Garlic Way and Bay Leaf in the shire of Allspice. This adjoined to Pumpkin Spice near the waterfront of Old Bay Seasoning. All this is told to describe something of the world that the ‘young’ spices ‘lived’.

Basil and Rosemarie didn’t require homes or clothing per say because they were not ‘animals’ but rather ‘living plants’. They could go about like you and I because they had strong roots to ‘walk about on’ like their friends Sassafras and “Mr.” Garlic. All was required of them was to ‘eat their daily vitaminerals’ by putting their roots deep into the soil and absorb all the moisture their lively roots could take in. They could do this as easy it is for you and me to sink into a warm bath with bubbles.

They ‘slept’ while they ‘ate’ ; resting dormant in the fertile grounds of Spiceville and all of the shire of Allspice and the neighboring shire of Pumpkin spice. Basil and Rosemarie had ‘cousins’ in that shire named Nutmeg and Cinnamon. Nutmeg was considered a ‘practical joker’, always scheming to ‘out-spice’ every one else. This was fun for no one else except herself thus landing her in trouble quite often. Mrs. Onion Powder was often the ‘victim’ of Nutmeg’s adventures. Sometimes, Cinnamin would join in with her sister in the practical joke and hence they became known as the “Spice-Girls.”

Whoa Now! This story is supposed to be of Basil and Rosemarie and so the storie returns back to them. Basil and Rosemarie weren’t too smart and thus they were known as ‘Spice-Kadets’. It was fortunate enough , however that they had Sage as their grandmother and mentor though. She was ‘wise’ in all applications that would “meat” her attention. This was because she was known to “stew” with some prestigious visitors in Spiceville as the Porks, Beefs and even Chicken Little.

Sometimes, she would have Mayor Venison come from across the bay to speak with her about vaious applications to some of her constituents, the Sausages. They had the same bloodlines as the mayor but saw ‘life’ in a different way. They liked to “mix up” various parts of living for a different slant – but, boy, could they have want for much of what Sage had to offer!

- I got ‘off’ on the the story again! This story is supposed to be about the ‘spice kadets’ -that’s Basil and Rosemarie – for those that are having some difficulty with staying with the story too. – You might be a ‘spice kadet if – hey, don’t be ’talkin’’ about Basil and Rosemarie like that! You could be one too! Just keep gettin’ “off” on the ‘spices’! Okay, (sorry) every now then, Basil and Rosemarie had to go and visit their Auntie “Currie” – to seek her favor… You see, the ‘spice kadets’ weren’t dumb – just not too smart.

They were somewhat spoiled and liked the favors that Currie had to offer – hence they also became known as the ones that ‘Currie ’d favor.’ So spending thyme with Sage and Currie, life was pretty good for Basil and Rosemarie. They could go to the fair that their Uncle Oregano had each year for the Pastas. There were the Spaghetti, Lasagna and a whole lot more – mostly a foreign group across the Old Bay Seasoning.

They used to be a wandering group known as the ’Roamin’s but lately, for some some reason o’ the other, they got to calling themselves ‘It-all-ians from a land called ’It-all-ie. I reckon they were some ’all-full’ (of themselves) prideful set o’ folks – they once thought the world was theirs for the having and made themselves an empire.

UH – hmmmm regularly -‘gettin’ off’ the Spice Kadets storie again! Just what is going to become of them? Once their home got ‘sacked’

by them "Roamin’s and that’s why Basil and Rosemarie live with their grandparents now. No one knows what became of Salt and Pepper, the parents of the spice kadets. Regardless of their nickname, everyone in Spiceville adored Basil and Rosemarie.

They got invited to many homes for ‘dinner; letting them ’try out’ on different recipes. Some thought it quite a wonder that Basil and Rosemarie didn’t suffer from the same ‘sacking’ event as their parents, Salt and Pepper. Now their parents were often in ‘demand’; being called off to one ‘Diet’ or another. Some folks didn’t seem to mind though.

A few refused to take Salt in – said that he was an ol’ salt and ‘bad’ for the health of quite a few – made their ‘pressure rise’ just to take him in to their homes. Others just took him in, still. They loved his jokes and ‘salty’ behavior. These seemed to take him for ev’ry ’casion -life of the party, said some.

Pepper was in demand as well – being called out for various occasions. She was a doctor – I think – being called out to ‘doctor up’ this or that. There were some spices that wanted to ‘table’ them – whatever that meant. Anyways they seemed to stay away from Spiceville a lot and some folks in Spiceville forgot they were a part of the community. Sage and Cloves just took in the two – Basil and Rosemarie – as their own. Although, they were grandparents, it did not seem to phase them.

They never got too old -always youthful in appearance. They were full of zest – particularly, Sage. Cloves seem to be always in a ‘pickle’ about something, though – gettin’ mixed up with a few folks that jus’ won’t worth their ‘vinegar’. Good thing he had Sage to keep him straight!

There once came in their village, Vanilla Bean. They said he tried to ‘extract’ a toll on the Spices that used his bridge across the bay.

Yep – that’s right – the Old Bay Seasoning. No one could figure out why they called it ‘old’. (There hasn’t been anything called the "New Bay Seasoning as far as I have known.) Some just said it was a ‘fish story’, anyways ‘bout being old’. The Ol’ Bay was full of life and zest, the life of the party when Lobster came with his wife, Crab, to the shire.

Boy, could they ever ‘cook up’ some parties! There were entrees of food as far as you could see. I reckon that’s why they called it ‘see food,’ huh? Well, there it is again.

Some folks just ‘get off’ talkin’ ‘bout spices and runaway on tangents! Poor Basil and Rosemarie never quite got their storie told. One thing, sure enough, as it seems to be; It has got to be the ’spiciest storie, Bean toll’d!’

Spiciest Storie ever bean toll'd

Thomas Josiah Chappelle

Oxford, United States

  • Artist

Artist's Description

Fun storie for those who childlike in heart

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