An Unfortunate Beginning

The pie slipped through my fingers,
And onto a small man’s head.
He turned to me in anger, and this is what he said:

“You’ve covered me in sauce,
From my head down to my toes.
There’s mince meat in my ears, and there’s pastry up my nose.

I’m feeling quite disgusted,
At the behaviour you have shown.
I demand an apology now, or out the door I’ll have you thrown.”

“I’m very sorry sir.”
Is what I quickly said.
“I really didn’t mean to drop that pie upon your head.”

“Apology accepted.”
Is how the man replied.
Then he turned around and walked until he’d made his way outside.

I felt extremely guilty,
And sorry for the man.
I followed him outside, and then I grabbed him by the hand.

“I’m really very sorry;
I know it was awfully rude
I truly did not mean to decorate you with my food.

Please let me make it up to you.
I’m feeling rather bad.
And if I did you something nice, we’d both be very glad.”

“Alright.” the small man said,
Then he jumped onto my back.
“You can be my taxi. Now away to pick up Jack!”

“But who is Jack?” I queried,
And I got this in reply:
“Jack is just a friend of mine, a really lovely guy.”

“Away to pick up Jack.” I sighed,
And took off down the track,
While the small man gave directions, from atop my aching back.

“Jack’s house is not too far away.”
He said into my ear.
“It’s down along the waterfront, near the old abandoned pier.”

Now the pier was several ‘k’s away,
So I didn’t want to go.
I dropped the small man off my back, and told him firmly “No!”

He glared at me with wild eyes,
And then began to shout:
“You’d better take me down to Jack’s or else I’ll knock you out!”

I couldn’t take it anymore.
The man was very rude.
I no longer was worried about the incident with my food.

“The disrespect you’ve shown me,
Has made me very mad.
I was feeling guilty for what I’d done, but now I’m rather glad!

You’re a very nasty person,
I don’t like you at all!
And I wasn’t going to say it, but you are abnormally small!”

The small man gazed in disbelief,
Appalled by the words I spoke.
His face glowed red with boiling rage, his ears puffed thick grey smoke.

He suddenly looked quite fearsome,
With all that smoke coming out of his head.
I was beginning to regret those very nasty words that I’d just said.

“Are you ok?” I timidly asked,
Then slowly backed away.
I was just about to turn and run, when I heard a familiar “Neigh!”

The neigh came from behind me,
So I turned myself to see.
And right there looking at me was my pony: Miss McGee.

I sprinted straight towards her,
Then I leapt onto her back,
And instantly we tore away and galloped down the track.

“So long, small man!” I called behind.
Laughing as I spoke.
The events of the day suddenly seemed to be something of a joke.

I said to my companion;
My favourite quadruped,
“Miss McGee when we get home I will reward you with some bread,

And any other food you want,
You name it and it’s yours.
I’ll sleep in the barn tonight, and you can stay indoors.

It’s so lucky for me that you picked me up,
And carried me down this road.
I’m glad we escaped from that rude little man; for I fear he was soon to explode.”

We travelled along for a few more ‘k’s,
Until we arrived back home.
I jumped off my pony, opened the gate, and straight through the garden I roamed.

“At last,” I sighed. “I’m back at home.
What a wonderful place to be.
Especially when I’m with my favourite pony Miss McGee.”

I skipped up the steps, walked inside,
And sunk into a chair.
While Miss McGee pranced ’round outside, in the balmy midday air.

I was feeling rather tired.
I stretched and gave a groan.
Then something stirred behind me. I was no longer alone.

At first I wasn’t worried.
It was probably just a mouse.
After all there are many mice who take up residence in my house.

But my calmness didn’t last long.
When I turned around to look,
I saw a very scary sight, which made me feel quite crook.

“Hello,” the small man said to me.
His voice was quiet and calm.
“What a lovely house you’ve got here. And an equally lovely farm.”

He slowly moved towards me,
With a crazed look in his eyes.
I knew it could only be moments ‘til I came to my demise.

“You didn’t keep your word.” he said.
“You said you’d be my car.
You said you’d take me anywhere, but we didn’t travel far.”

I tried to say I was sorry,
But the words just wouldn’t come.
So the little man continued, while I stood there looking dumb.

“You covered me in food today,
And you left me stranded too.
So now that I have found you, there’s nothing else to do.

He brought his hands from behind his back,
And revealed a large grey brick.
He raised the brick above his head, then gave my legs a kick.

I fell down stunned onto the floor,
Not knowing what to do.
The small man stood above me, and I knew my days were through.

The brick slipped through his fingers,
And onto my fragile head.
My skull was crushed, my brains were mushed. I was no longer living, but dead.

An Unfortunate Beginning


Joined September 2008

desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.