Journal

a change for the better (plans to leave and others) part 2

alright now i am offically leaving none can stop me freinds are leaving to supierior and that leaves me with one friend here and my fucking messed up family so i cant stay other wise ill be dead by the time im 19 now im narrowing where im going down to anywhere away from my family and with cheap smokes maybe even out of the country i don’t know i don’t care I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!

the death of nicotine

i need help from anyone out there thats willing to lend it. im trying very hard to quit smoking and i need to know every non-patch or gum method of quiting
thanks a bunch
p.s. don’t say cold turkey

a change for the better (plans to leave and others)

22 month til 18, 24 till i disappear…

as soon as i turn 18 i’m packing all of my shit and 2 months after that i leave i don’t know where but i need to leave the only reason to stay is my mother but even then there is no reason to stay.

i leave to florida or california either way im goin to stop writing.

there reasoning for this is cause my ex and her boyfreind who i thought we were friends but i guess not. they’re goin to move in together we she turns 18 or gradates. and i also can’t stay cause of the people and the scars that heal get reopened and i can’t take it.

and if my school life continues im goin to end up droping out after the first semester and taking the high school equivelency test when i turn 18.

also i f anyone who knows me personaly just to let you know im going to to go thr

random rants

alright im just going to rant alot here so if u dont like that then read something else.

first of all i’m just plan pissed off as to the reason why i don’t know it might be the fact that the electric got shut off now i’ve been bouncing from house to house and it’s a pain in my ass. others might be that i have to stay at my brothers now he and his room mate practically have a gun to each others head why the fuck did they have to move the fuck in.

on top of everything my brothers roommate (hugest fat ass you will meet) is not exactly dating my ex but soon they will and this morning i walked in on them making out beyond disgusting.

all of this shit plus the shit thats going on in my family is fucking with my stomach and shit

my family ladies and gentleman

im offically fed up with all the bull shit in this fucking world and now my family is about to kill each other and im stuck in the middle of it. my family is fucked up the ass. yeah sure im may know how to manipulate people to my whim some are easy other take time but my fucking bitch of an aunt (both of them) no matter how much resolve you have she will push your buttons and make you that person on the subway you dont want to be near on the subway in the not so off chance you’ll get shot stab or even the shit beat out of you.…

then theres my cousins they and my aunt a.k.a. the queen bee-otch feed on my grandma for money and when my family ask for a couple of dollars for food, gas, or something we need, they blow up at us.

now to single out one aunt Queen bee-otch and the biggest fucking h

im so.... lost

i feel lost and i hope who ever reads this can help i want to ask some one out but she said we were just to good of freinds to be anymore but i have been picking up signals or im just want there to be signals. idon’t know if anyone can help please help

i need advice!!

i think someone very close to me just spilt her feeling on here i i just read them and i need to know if she would see it as eves dropping cause she dosen’t know that i have a redbubble so give me advice plz help me.

the lost cause.

im not a lost cause but someday i feel like chasing but i don’t go far i never make it in their eyes i just wish that they see me as i am not as they’re lead to see i wish the freind zone never exsisted.

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