Collection Letter 6: To Adam


I know you’re a busy guy so I probably would only have, like, four minutes, to tell you exactly this if ever you truly were standing right here. But a lot can happen in four minutes.
Moving along.

I had probably a hundred crushes as a young girl, but they all died out as the illusion broke apart and my ardor fizzled in a smoking disaster of disappointment. I usually found out that pretty faces came with not so pretty souls. Then you came down the hall. You were this entity with this light mocha skin and the most ridiculous eyes. I couldn’t get away from them! It pissed me off because I didn’t want to be the freshman girl staring at you, the upper classmen, but everywhere I looked, there they were…those fucking eyes! What made it even worse was that you stared right back at me. You shouldn’t have done that, it gave a little girl like me hope that I was something to be stared at, too. Know that there were nights I convinced myself that you only stared back because I was a weirdo….such was my self-confidence.

I think I got two words from you in the years I held you in my heart. You were crazy shy and I ran in a circle that did not match yours. Figures. I should have made more of an effort to talk to you, but again…me the lower classmen, you the upper. Plus there was that whole crippling teenage fear of rejection. So instead, you inspired my poetry to mature, my thinking to evolve from the pure driven snow of girlishness to the passion of a woman. My writing went from odes to your eyes, sweet lilting lyrics of devotion, to sinking into images, like one does into a hot bath, of just what I would do if I was bold enough be alone with you. And the thing is; it never ended for me. You remained this way, immortalized as the perfect face of my dreams. I had no idea who you were as a person; what you liked, what you disliked, your quirks…I just had the image, one I pick out from a crowd whether I was trying to do it or not.

I caught up with you years later, saw something of you that I did not know, and it really pleased me; you’re hugely successful as an adult. This is going to sound utterly insane but I could not be more proud. Do I still long for you the way I did when I was fourteen? Nah….but boy are you still the most beautiful face I have ever seen in my whole life next to that of my husband’s. I think that may be why I’m attracted to my husband…he has this look about him….and it’s you. Can I just tell you, the fact that you’re even “deigning” to be friends with me on Facebook is probably THE biggest favor ever? Stop laughing….because you didn’t have to accept the friendship from a woman you did not know. God knows, I wouldn’t have. Again…you give a little girl hope. Thing is, I STILL don’t really want to KNOW you. I refuse to let reality take you away from me and yes…YES! You’re on a pedestal. Nothing you can do about it. Get used to it. You’ve been up there since 1993.

I named my son Adam. I let most people think it’s a tribute to my great grandfather, but it is not. It’s a tribute to you. I know that might feel a little inconveniencing but you’re going to have to just get over that since I expect nothing from you. It’s just my way of thanking you for inspiring the countless poems about what it’s like to fall in love and remain utterly…hopelessly….silent.

Cheers, Adam….

Collection Letter 6: To Adam


Joined August 2008

  • Artist
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Artist's Description

To THE high school crush. Yes we girls have many but there’s always The One.

Artwork Comments

  • Maria Catalina Wiley
  • TheAngelique
  • Maria Catalina Wiley
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