back it up

So I have this guy writing me poetry-like (and I saw LIKE because it’s not exactly poems but it’s artistically written) of what he’d do to me if given the chance. I will admit it’s well written…certainly makes my mind wander in terms of imagination. I do seek a playmate who wont linger but I understand how impossible that is in reality so I put little effort into searching or putting out a scent.
However this individual has written almost precisely what I seek in terms of sexual adventure. How marvelous. He understands the simplicity of domination. Taking control from someone, sexually, is not meant to be a cruel thing. It is meant to strip a person down to the core of their trust. True surrender is about trusting someone to mix a concoction of sensation and apply it to your body, to your senses, in an artful way, to push your body up towards ultimate pleasure. And yes, a little pressure…a little pain…is a sensation, stimulation of nerve endings, ice and fire. It has to be done with meticulous care. You just cant go in there and yank cruelly at a woman’s nipples and think “yeahhhh I’m turning her on”.
Domination cannot come from an angry place. My True Master (haven’t found him yet) is one that is firm and kind, respectful and loving, he is patient, he is calm while he coaxes your submission. His discipline is designed to control yourself, not give him your control. It is the upward, graceful ascent of a bird into the air…a Master is the updraft you both fear and long for. For once you realize you can soar in your skin higher and higher, you learn to trust his hand and his whip and that is how he wins your submission.

He is NOT the ex college quarterback gym rat thinking that pounding you with a fist full of your hair and calling you a dirty slut means he’s a dominate. If I wanted that I could go up the street to the bar the local community college pack hangs out at and giggle and not wear a bra.

But I dont want that.
I dont want love either
I dont want a long term partner, I never want to marry again and I never want to waste my time on faith in another person’s love and promises.

But this guy….I can lose myself in someone who knows how to capture my body rather than my heart. I decided to respond with the equivalent of “come at me then”. Back it up…if you can. You’d think a green light from a woman would result in an immediate full body charge.

But no…
More poetry.

So will play The Master and wait with hands behind my back, mouth closed…waiting.

Journal Comments