My Bubble, My Ass

I know the last few entries I’ve posted have been relatively intelligent musings on art and such, but since I can’t access my regular blog from work (and in consideration of the fact that my brain seems to have liquefied) I fear I’m going to have to subject you all to what is running through my head right now. Which is…

Absolutely nothing. Because I’m sitting in my office on my second to last day working for the Inner Ring of Hell Department Stores, owned by the conglomerate known as Satan’s Playground Retail Systems, listening to the one and only radio station that comes in clearly…yes people…easy listening. The monotony broken only by ads for the New Kids on the Block reunion concert. I’m so TOTALLY getting tickets. I so <3 NKOTB.

How many of you just totally lost respect for me when I said that? I feel dirty now.

I got up this morning, realizing I had to go in to work and could not just stay in bed watching Gilmore Girls (there goes the rest of your respect), and tried my damndest to not fling myself off my third floor porch as I got ready in 5 minutes flat. I then proceeded to try to talk the Dunkin Donuts drive thru kid into putting crack in my coffee, which apparently in my town isn’t as odd of a request as you would think, then wolfed down a Zone bar while putting on eye makeup, drinking coffee, and texting. I’m a menace on the road. I am the reason for road rage. I got to work a whopping 15 minutes late only to find that there was no one to let me in. And I mean no one. I’m pretty sure when I looked in the door I could see tumble weed rolling past the racks of clothing. So I stood out in the rain, feeling my hair frizz, talking to myself like the guy from Office Space.

At this point it is 4:40 pm and I can’t go home until at least 5 pm. I’ve made a To Do list. I wrote down all the things that are in my refrigerator that I need to throw away. I wrote down the names of all the people I should email. I checked the status of my order about 30 times. I read Jen Lancaster’s blog. I picked through my trash to find a Dunkin Donuts receipt. I made a list of all the things I’ve done today in order to avoid doing any actual work. And damn it, I’m still so bored I want to poke myself in the eye just for something to do. Now where is my exacto knife??

Journal Comments

  • gpatrick
  • Katherine Anderson