There are some days where I feel like why am I living and what am I here for. Than I look back and realize that I was created for a reason/ purpose, until I find what my being here is for it is going to be a very long journey. I try each day to put alot of certain aspects to the side and forget about the simple things that are irritating me most. I don’t understand alot of things that are pertainin to being in a big family. In my eyes I believe that we all have severe issues but some are greater than others. Sometime I forget and I have to remind myself that someone has to be the bigger and better person, nomatter how rough things may seem I have to put my foot down to be the positive one. Life is a long and rocky road to climb especially when you are alone. Sometime I feel that I am not loved, because no one ever showed me that until , this man appeared in my life and he is the greatest gift that I could ever ask for his name is Ibraheem- he is my hearts desire, he is all that I have prayed and seeked for. Until that final day he came from out of no where. We connected immediately, there was something that brought us near to reach out to one another. He is the someone that I always wanted to reach out to , I am able to tell him things that I was never able to tell anyone else, I am able to confine in him because he has given me the trust, srtrength , and wisdom of knowledge to trust in him. He is my source of comfort at all times and he teaches me to stay on the straight path and not to go astray. Since finding him , he has sought me to find the new me that was within but never existed because I was dead for so long I didn’t know what to do to be productive again. Inotherwords, he is my life, lght, and key to all things that are in me. I love him so much because he shows me unconditional love and he fills the gaps that has been empty for all those years. I am like a plant that he has repotted and began to uproot inorder for me to grow. In the process of having him in my life I am able to laugh more, cry less, the tears that I had wept for so long were tears of death. In all that I do and have prayed for God has heard my prayer and cry he sent an angel to receive me of the depths of pain, hurt, and sadness that was inside of me. I have always been the type of person to reach out to others despite the fact that they didn’t want me, I put my problems to the side to see them through their ordeal of issues that they were seething through. As I continue each given day to learn about self and the gifts of knowing that I am loved by someone regardless of my situation and the outcome of the matter he still chose to stay and be there with me. That’s when I knew that he was a true , caring, and confident person. I was afraid in the beginning to tell him about my circumstance , as I began to tell him it was only the voice of God’s command leading me through. I thought that he was going to look at me in a different perspective and not want to have any dealings with me. On the other hand, he took it all in with strife and grief and told me that he understood, he said that he was happy that I had told him due to the fact before we would of gotten into deep. I am now a new profound young woman because of him, I pray that he will stay in my life for a good purpose and cause there is so much that I can learn from him and about his culture. I am now part of him and his religion .

Journal Comments