Releasing Stuff

Releasing
To set free from confinement, restraint, or bondage ;To free from something that binds, fastens, or holds back; let go.

It’s an interesting definition when you’re an artist. This weekend i released a new music track and now i feel very much like the above definition. I have let it go, but having spent so much intensity on the work, i feel a sense of anticlimax…an emptiness. No need to be concerned. This is a normal part of the process for me, and quite a familiar one for many artists like myself.

Prior to a work’s public release, it’s something private….like a part of me that hardly anybody knows about. It’s secret, and precious…something that’s all mine. I write often, but only release from time to time. Not everything i write i like…not everything i produce i’m happy with. So the stuff that i do like and happy with is very special to me. And once it’s “out there” in the world, not only does it no longer fit within the definition of being my own precious thing anymore, but also i can no longer nurture it by doing stuff with it. It’s growth has ended.

Just like a painter or a sculpture, a music artist spends a labour of love moulding and shaping a piece of music. It takes time and dedication. It takes the belief in something that is part of you, yet stands outside of you. There are hours of frustration, longing, excitement, and faith in every single work which eventually becomes “released”. There’s an investment in thought, in passion, in dedication, and in trust….times when you face your own stupid demons, and also revel in your epiphanies. A piece of music, which ends up only 4 minutes in length, can have taken months and even years to produce. It can be filled with every extreme of an artists psyche, and only they can really know what it took to get it there. It’s final birth is the result of an emotional, intellectual, and sometimes spiritual journey which can only be truly understood by the people who made it.

And so, it’s the end of one thing.
I’ll be off now, to wrestle with myself and something new.

Journal Comments

  • Mui-Ling Teh
  • Tania Rose