the dream

I awoke finding myself in a small room, a reception area of sorts. There was a counter and a man behind the counter. He looked at me but didn’t seem to focus

“and what brings you in here today?” I honestly didn’t know and as my eyes surveyed
the room and its sparse appointments I realized there was no door through which I must have come in. I merely shrugged.
“well then, do you have any complaints?”
“Sir, how did you find your life to be?”
“You mean how is it?”
“no I mean how was it, it’s over now.”
I stood there dumfounded and not unbelieving. I mean death wasn’t what I thought it would be. I pictured death as nonexistence, but I’d been wrong on so many accounts for a period of so many years I doubted my very self. So yes, I didn’t doubt that I was dead.
And the clerk, or whatever he was, now focused sharply twiched his lips and said;
“Go in through that door on my right your left.”
Only then did I see the two doors behind the clerk. (now I know thats what he was)
I stepped around the counter, going behind him, turned the knob and went in.
I turned my head to watch myself close the door behind me. As I did I caught a glimps and instantly recognized Jesus, though he wasn’t in any of the artistic forms we know. He was normal looking except for the robe and the purple sash like thing.
Normal might not be the word: common. Yes common, but his getup and the way he held his head was pure royal.
I tried to speak first but was stopped.
Jesus started out focused and the focus turned to a locking ray.
His dress had eluded my initial inspection and though now I could only look at his eyes in my peripheral I recognized it as being judges robes. And he asked me
“Did you live well?”
“did you hurt anyone?”
“not deliberatly”
“and what did you think of what we made for you?”
“top notch really I can’t say enough.”
A frown crossed his face. I thought mayby I had crossed some sort of line. I knew before I said it it was a flippant thing to say. But that wasn’t the cause for his frown as he said,
“Your lying, youv’e had some complaints.”
I had allways thought that religion was just too petty and really, well frankly, judgemental, that being the case I said,
“Have you seen the place?”
He glared. I added,
“I mean talk about the appocalypse,. for crying out loud people are slaughtered babies are raped sufferings been the happening thing for six tousand years now, Jesua Chri…”
Once again I couldn’t speak. Once again he glared.
“It’s not easy being king. Iv’e an example to set for my under judges and we have a code of conduct that must be followed. We can’t go destroying wicked people or fighting crime or getting rid of pestilence for that matter either. What would the heavenly host think? We must dot all our eyes and cross all our tees.
You are not suited for my kingdom as you do not follow me blindly.”
Now I felt prompted to speak and since I was sure I was going down the tubes anyway, I wanted to speak my mind but thought I should be as respectfull as I could just in case.
“Sir. Lord. I did what I could for fellow humans. It wasn’t much I agree, but I had so many other things to take care of as well. I was a pacificist. I gave people rides. Even
money sometimes though it was sparse. And I spent my time with the down trodden souls when I could. I even perfered thier company. And I know I was an imbider of things you don’t approve but I couldn’t help it.”
Then mistakenly I added,
“after all you made me”
He shook his head, shrugged and said,
“I do the will of my father. Go back through that door.”
As I had been standing there I had felt growing heat behind me. I thought there must be a stove or somthing. I turned around as he had motioned and found myself facing a much differant door than the one I had come in from behind the clerks counter, now it was iron instead of wood and it glowed yellow at the bottom. As I moved my vision upword it blended into cherry red, a little cooler. By the knob it was ruby rust, cooler still but obviously a hand brander. I was going to hell. I was allready dead. Anyway no sense in resisting, I grabbed the knob. It gave way under my hand
to become something recognizable by feel as somthing other than the knob. It was cool to the touch and felt like a blossom. A blossom like a peonie or a camellia, dense,full, so full I didn’t crush it as I twisted it and it gave way along wiyh the door and I was standing in a meadow.
Buddah was there. I don’t know it absolutly, but he was the size, shape, tone and demeanor that I expected of Buddah. He smiled at me showing a gap where one of his two top main front teeth was missing. His speech was affected by this as he spoke.
“Wellcome my brother, glad to see you again, have you learned much since we last spoke?”
“It must have been a long time ago when we spoke because I don’t remember the event, so yes I’m sure Iv’e learned alot”
He rubbed his bald head, adjusted his too large robe, ( which looked as if he must have made it into a gathering container of sorts by the wrinkles and stains ) asking,
“Have you loved completely?”
“Have you suffered horificly?”
“at times”
“Are you humble?”
“forcibly so”
“What do you believe in?”
“I believe Jesus rule, the main one, should be followed by all and if one of us is suffering, I believe we all should share.”
“So you feel compassion for others?”
I just looked at him he could deduce my response. I felt no pressure.
“Do not take the suffering of others it is thier privledge in this dream. In the inner connectivity of all energy you suffer what you should on your own. In the sea of motion of which we all are part we experience each other and weep for each other unknowingly. But all is just a dream. Describe for me pain.”
“Pain feels bad, it hurts, it can be unbearable…”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Do you feel it now?”
“Can you go back and experience it once it is over?”
“No.” adding “it’s only in the moment”(obviously or babies wouldn’t be born)"but some experience dreadfulness from the time they are born’
“And that is very sad. However that is thier dream, now you can walk accross the meadow and resume yours”
That was the last I remember, walking through the meadow, then I woke up. And I could feel a change. Jesus pointed the way. Buddah showed me the road.
Instead of overwhelming saddness I seem to now have a differant poportion. Even fifty fifty. What I carry of the worlds saddness and what I experience as the worlds joy.
I learned too. I learned that if all would share in the worlds pain, than the suffering of the many would be lessoned. That the empathy of Jesus life is what should be emulated. Not the judgemental bureaucracy of his kingdom.
Really what Iv’e awakened to is all men have the same desires. All men have the same power to engage or to desist. And all men have the same responsibility.
It’s only the ideas of men that get in the way. Blinds them not to their goal, but to how to acheive it.
I don’t believe in Jesus or Buddah, as far as them being divine. I think Jesus was a man and Buddah was a concept. I’m not an intentional follower of either one. In contrast I hope my goals and desires are in line with their teachings. No one should suffer if there is someone who could alleviate it.
Which is why I don’t believe.
I feel the Buddah thing is a better system with us being God ourselves, in that we are ourselves responsible. But I see all the tremendous outside influence. The other things at play.

the dream


Joined February 2008

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