Bed Talk

I used to date this guy. I told my friends we were just sleeping together. I could hardly remember his middle name. He was the first person I’d been with who I thought was more attractive than me. He wore a little more makeup than I did too. And he dressed better than I did. Better personal hygiene too. Prettiest skin, whitest teeth. Sweeter than I was, sweeter than I am. His parents are probably more polite than mine but I’m glad I had a good excuse every time he asked me to meet them. “No sorry, I have to work. Aw, can’t, sorry, my friend is having an art show.” He would text me telling me he had just been thinking about me. I wasn’t used to that. His apartment was downtown and smaller than mine but his was full of Baxton Studio and La Diff chairs and mine Ikea. Who cares, it’s not like we spent a lot of time in the living room.
On the last night we ever hung out we were walking home from dinner and it started to snow, the first snow of the year actually and he looked down at me and whispered “Well, that’s special isn’t it?” and I think I just melted right there on the spot and then the next thing I knew we were back at his apartment, in his bed, under the duvet, with his face between my thighs and I couldn’t help thinking about his parents and the fact that I will never meet them and does he know that and I was trying so hard to remember his middle name and wow was this not happiness not love not a relationship not even friends with benefits not any semblance of a relationship because I was so cold every day of my life and I just sat up and caught my breath pulling on my panties, avoiding a kiss goodbye, and I shut the door behind me trying so hard not to look back but he looked like the saddest, most abused puppy I had ever seen, and I could’ve—should’ve turned to a pillar of salt.

Bed Talk

Summer Miller

Richmond, United States

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