I Feel Blessed!

I Feel Blessed

I look back through the summers and tears to 1985 when the Cancer took you away! I will never feel it was fair, that you had to be the one called home! What you gave to me can never be measured. You taught me all that I have whispered between my lines and each love poem written, bears your smile! Like all couple feel, I believed that we’d grow old together! I believed that each morning would be greeted with your arm wrapped around me, followed by your soft kiss; a kiss that lasted forever.

I believed that you’d be the best part of my day, and the inspiration for me to hide love notes where you least expected to find one, just to see your eyes sparkle! I believed that I’d see anticipation in your eyes as you watched the clock approaching 9 pm on Friday nights! You knew your bubble bath would be ready, with candles and the scent of lavender in the air. A moment for me to pamper and spoil you and renew the love we have for each other. A time to make the weeks stress just a faded memory.

How I miss the moments we cuddled, walked, talked, and sat on the porch swing many nights watching for a shooting star. Eager to make a wish, hoping one day it would come true. I had hoped as we grew older that we might get that cabin on a lake, you know, the one you wanted so bad. Watching trout jump, or ducks land, or maybe just to watch the velvet sunset cast against a drop back of snow capped mountains. I want you to feel that I gave my heart and soul to you unselfishly and that my love would always be enough.

But when you felt the lump, the look in your eyes couldn’t keep that secret from me. Like every other couple, we hoped, we cried, we prayed that it wasn’t Cancer, but we only fooled ourselves! But instead of letting cancer become a wedge, a wedge of anger, seclusion, and aloneness, our love grew stronger. I was there during your good days and those days when you angrily shouted you wanted to just let go! But I wouldn’t let you just give up, I couldn’t! I wanted you to beat Cancer, I wanted you to be a doctor’s miracle, but it wasn’t to be.

I was at your side that morning; when you whispered, that it was time for us to share one last kiss, and say good-bye! Though tears flowed from your eyes, your eyes sparkled like diamonds. There was a soft, warm smile on your face, and I think you were glad you wouldn’t have to suffer any more! My tears flowed like a river as I squeezed your hand, and cried, I didn’t want you to go! But you placed your other hand over mine and whispered; "It’s okay darling; please don’t cry, I’ve known this moment would come, and I will miss you more then any words I can share with you”!

I stood and looked down into love swept eyes, and promised, that for as long as I held a pen in my hand, that I would show other’s the magic of love two can share with each other! I leaned down and saw my tears merge with your tears as they flowed down your cheeks, as our lips kissed! It was a wonderful, long tender kiss! We I stood up, the last words you whispered were; “I’ll be waiting by the gate darling; live your life to its fullest, let your lines written guide other’s to where love’s flame burns brightest”; and you closed your eyes! That was the saddest day in my life, when I knew you passed away! But I feel blessed because for the time you were mine and I was yours, I honestly can say; ”There is a place called love”!

A place where all the struggles to build trust, take a chance, and let someone inside, is worth all the nervousness to love and be loved! I will always write of the love two can share, the love two people miss, and the dreams the lonely people of the world dream. Believe in your heart, believe in love, because you are worthy of being loved. Sometimes it just takes a little longer to find the one you have waited so long to find. But when you find them, you’ll know it, everyone will know it, and I want them to celebrate your happiness.

© 2006 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)

I Feel Blessed!

storyteller2007

Lodi, United States

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Writing Is My Passion!

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