The Begging, Bleeding Heart Apology.

I settles the shakes and gather the guitar into my lap,running my hand along the solid maple top and sliding my left hand across the worn-smooth-by-fingers neck and fret board. I put new strings on it yesterday which shine in the almost dark and look just like they sound. I’ve wanted to make this call for a week but I’ve only managed to do it now. I pick up the yellowing phone and dial her number, hitting the sticking speaker button. The phone rings each shrill driving a sliver of worry through my heart. She answers on the fourth ring. I start playing please don’t hang up Please let this get across to her, please let her feel the sincerity that seems to drip off me and attract a infestation of Melancholy feelings that cling to the corners of my apartment. I start to sing.

Could you whisper in my ear,

The things you want to feel?

I’d give up everything,

To feel it coming,

Do you wake up on your own,

And wonder where you are?

And live with all your faults…

The rest of the song passes by in a blur until a suspense garnished silence falls over the connection.
“Hey Ryan.” Her voice fills me up like a beautiful golden liquid that exudes warmth and a reason to *be*_. I breathe in deeply.
“Hey Becky.” I feel her relax and smile, knowing exactly each movement she would be executing right now, she let out a stress filled, shuddery breath, she’d blink once and then roll the tension out of her shoulders that had finally loosened from hearing me talk for the first time in what seemed like eternity.
“I miss you.” She steals the words off my tongue, i lift half my mouth in my customary sad smile.
“I miss you to baby.” There’s a silence, but not like the first one that churned your gut and sent the splinters of uncertainty deeper inside you.
“_I’m sorry.
" we both say it in unison and a fear chasing laughter echoes from both ends of the phone line.
“I have some cold pizza and a family block of dark chocolate. I could serenade you on the balcony, under the stars and the full moon until you got to your happy sleepy state and carry you inside, we could lie together in my bed and drift off together or I could drag a mattress onto the balcony and set up a mosquito net.” Her breathing is full of stops and starts and splutters, the noises she makes when she’s tearing up. “I’m so sorry baby girl. I fucked up. Please come back, you can go home after we’ve talked or I can sleep on the couch I need you because I love you. Please, just please come back, your my everything. Make me whole again, take all of me like only you truly can.”
There’s a silence at the other end of the phone, i start to believe she’s hung up, she sniffs once blowing away my fears.
“I’ll be there in ten.” Her voice is full of tears, happy tears.“And don’t you dare set up the couch.”

The Begging, Bleeding Heart Apology.

A boy called Star

Melbourne, Australia

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Artist's Description

Hopefully Ryan and becky can re-transfix their old fans. enjoy guys.

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