Book of Kaoz - Memories

“She can’t walk yet!”

“Then she’ll learn. Now move!” Skitzo pushed her away. Stumbling, Ilana knocked over a vase, the crash turned his attention back to her and away from the little girl on the floor.

“That’s what you do to the things I buy you?” he roared. Skitzo advanced on Ilana, his eyes bulging and spit flying from his mouth. With one strong sweep of his arm, skitzo back handed her, the blow knocked Ilana over the table she’d been standing next to. The crash of breaking glass startled the little girl and she began to cry while Skitzo pushed aside the remnants of the table and continued to beat on his wife.

“Kaoz!” the angry roar seemed to reverberate around her hiding place. Dust fell in little drifts over her head almost making her sneeze.

‘Please don’t let him find me. Please don’t let him find me.’ She chanted holding her hands clasped under her chin, her eyes tightly closed. If he found her he’d beat her again that’s why she’d hidden. It was a secret place, her mother didn’t know of it. It was dark and small and he couldn’t fit inside let alone find it.

The pounding of feet came closer, doors slammed and glass broke. She held her breath, afraid he’d discovered her somehow but the footsteps faded. Behind his yells she could hear the softer voice of her mother and she wished she hadn’t hid so well because then Skitzo would turn to her in anger at not finding Kaoz and then he would beat her mother; but she stayed hidden anyway.

Kaoz could admit that even as a child she was never patient though on those occasions when it was needed she could sit, outwardly patient until it was time to act. On that occasion she began to nod off before deciding it was safe to crawl out of her hiding spot. She made her way to a tower room where she kept her dolls and some toys, most of them where brought back by Phylo and gave them to Ilana who then gave them to Kaoz. These were things that Skitzo would beat his wife for if he found them. Kaoz made sure that never happened again not after the severe beating he gave Ilana for finding a mechanical toy horse she had been playing with.

That horse had been the best gift she’d ever received and she’d wondered what she’d done to deserve it. The little horse had neighed and rose on his haunches pawing at the air as if it would really take off at a gallop. Phylo had shown her how to turn it on and after that he’d sat with Ilana talking while she played. Pieces of their conversation floated through her mind at the memory and she realized now that they had loved each other even then. Though she had never seen them touch or say any thing to alert any one to their true feelings. Then again there had never been any one around to see their true feelings. Skitzo had never liked having many people in his castle like home though he was quick to have many servants out of it while he was on a Caravan trail. The rest of that memory was partly Ilana’s.

Kaoz opened the door to her special room and saw that her father had been there already. All the dolls and toys were scattered around the room. Her furniture was thrown about some were broken. With a sigh she began to put things in their place setting aside the dolls that were broken and taking those that couldn’t be fixed to a pile by the door. She folded the skins she used for blankets and set them aside then picked up the pieces for her pallet bed before laying the skins on that. Once most of the room was in order she sat down on her pallet to play with the few dolls she had left.

As the sun was coming down Ilana found her there fast asleep, she stood in the doorway watching her before closing it. Ilana put the candle down and pulled a chair closer to Kaoz. She found some parchment and retrieved a charcoal stick from her pocket and began to sketch a likeness of her as she slept.

Kaoz remembered that sketch, Ilana had given it to her and she had taken it with her to the cave leaving it inside a cedar chest. If the land hadn’t changed she assumed it was still there. Maybe one day she would go back for it and the others. Kaoz remembered another sketch her mother had done.

Her black hair lay in waves around her head. Her lashes were long and her eyes had a slightly almond shape to them. Her nose was slim with the tip slightly upturned giving her a snobbish air. Her lips were full with a rosy tinge to them and over her cheek bones. She still had the chubbiness of a baby on her face. Her small hands were wrapped around a doll, her legs were pulled up and her bare feet were tucked into the furs. Finished with the sketch Ilana brought another fur off the bed and covered her with it. Kneeling down she smoothed Kaoz’ hair and gave her a kiss.

“Tomorrow my darling, tomorrow I can’t stop him again.” She sighed.

Kaoz knew Ilana had worried over her safety though she had tried to hide it from her. There were times when she couldn’t avoid speaking of her fears in front of her. Though she had been scared and nervous on their walk to the ‘ink master’ some of Ilana’s conversation with Naiaria, the only other woman allowed in the keep. She was old and haggard looking but she was the sweetest woman Kaoz had ever met. She cared for Ilana better than any nurse after a beating from Skitzo and she doted on her as a mother would a new born child. It was to her that Ilana confided her fears.

“I can’t let him take her. She’s only a child, he can’t!” her mother had sniffled trying to hold in her anxiousness so Kaoz wouldn’t notice and she hadn’t except for the memory of that conversation.

“Madam, he is mad, you know this, why do you continue to defy him?” she took Ilana’s hand in hers squeezing it comfortingly. “He will go too far one day.”

Ilana had shaken her head, wiped her eyes and entered the ink masters domain. She handed over the sketch and sat holding Kaoz’ hand while he had worked on the tattoo.

She had tried not to cry, had tried to hold still so it wouldn’t hurt so much but she had been a child and she had cried. The ink master had called another Slaver in to hold her arm still while he finished.

Kaoz ran her fingers lightly over ‘DragonFlight’ remembering the feel of the needle as he’d tapped away outlining the basic shape. The only relief had been the few moments it took him to refill the needle. She glanced down at her forearm and thought to see the blood smears. Kaoz shook her head seeing once more the shimmering black dragon on her forearm. It hadn’t been long after that when he sent her on her first caravan trail.

“Please! Leave her here.” Ilana begged. She followed Skitzo through the halls of the keep Kaoz ran a little behind them trying to keep up and stay out of his way at the same time. Ilana placed a gentle hand on his arm to detain him but he pushed her off. She had managed to get Kaoz out of his hold but still had not been able to change his mind. He’d dragged the wide eyed little girl from her room holding her by her neck. Ilana had been horrified at his treatment of the child from the first time they’d brought her to the keep.

“Skitzo-.” Ilana began once more but he turned shoving her out of the way. He grabbed Kaoz and threw her over his shoulder. He walked faster, skipping down the front steps to the waiting Caravan. Ilana came out just as Phylo sat Kaoz in front of him. The horse shifted, uncomfortable with Skitzo’s presence. It was the madness in him that frightened the animals and it scared her at times as well.

“You know the plan. We’re a day behind and I need those by the next moons. Now move out.” He ordered.

“Have I ever come back with less?” Phylo asked him at the same time turning his horse so they began to move away.

“Don’t let this be the first.” Skitzo grumbled to his back. Phylo turned over his shoulder and said; “You worry too much, Skitzo. It’s bad for your health.” He rode out of the compound with his Caravan following behind. He knew Ilana watched him and he hoped she knew there was nothing he could’ve done to leave Kaoz.

Ilana stood on the threshold biting her lip as she watched Phylo take her child out of the compound. Skitzo walked up the stairs wearing a satisfied smile; he took her arm in a firm grip pulling her inside. Now that he’d gotten rid of the dribble puss he had his wife all to himself for the first time since the little tail fruit had arrived at the keep. Ilana tried to pry out of his grip but he just shifted his hold taking a handful of her hair. She quit struggling and let her tears flow freely.

Kaoz had been in awe at the land around her. She had never been out of the compound before that day. Skitzo had never allowed her out of the keeps walls or near the gates. She hadn’t known there was a whole town outside where the Slavers lived with their families when they weren’t on duty inside the keep. The Slavers on the wall were always different the only ones who stayed inside the keep all the time where Ezven and Luthais. They each had their own warehouse where they practiced their trade and taught a few of the other Slavers. Dunix and Chivan were the metal masters but only Dunix went on caravans.

Kaoz had learned many tricks on that trail, she’d seen other things as well that made her afraid of some of the Slavers. She hadn’t thought them cruel men but that had been before she saw what they became on the trail. It had taken her a while to understand that those men whom she had seen as part of her family; grumpy old grandfathers and some of the younger ones who treated her as a little sister were still that, her family. Though they had a slightly different personality on the job than she was used to seeing, Kaoz understood that she was the same as them.

Kaoz had returned to the keep quiet and withdrawn. She kept her eyes downcast and avoided the cages at all times though she couldn’t block their shouts. The boys were angry with her and they were right to be so. She had tricked them and now they were worlds away from their home with no idea of what would happen to them.

Skitzo greeted Phylo happily seeing the full cages already calculating how much he would get for them. He didn’t bother asking about Kaoz or even looked for her but she didn’t care. She ran up the stairs of the keep going to her secret room with all her toys. Once there she shut the door and hid under the pile of furs wishing the world would disappear and she could be alone or at least in a place where Skitzo didn’t exist. She cried feeling sad for the children in the cages and guilty because it had been her fault they were there in the first place. Phylo had told her the boys had been trying to take her, to sell her to someone who wouldn’t be as nice as they were and she had believed him, then. She wasn’t so sure now that the Slavers were any better than the people the boys had wanted to sell her to. It was the first time she hated herself.

Book of Kaoz - Memories


Joined January 2008

  • Artist

Artist's Description

‘Nothing will ever be the same…’

The sky turned black, the stars burned out, the sun died and life- everything changed…

They came, took the weak, used them until their light was no more.

The Light was not happy. The Light dimmed and we worried. The Light was all. The Light…

War ensued; the beast’s, demons from every dimension rose against those of the Light, those who would protect the weak, the little beings the Light took such pleasure from. Some believed the little beings- humans – were nothing more than a passing distraction, that once gone- wiped from the verse- the Light would find pleasure in their worship, in their light but their light was no longer pure; they were corrupted, tainted by the demons…

There were others who swore to protect that which the Light favored and found such pleasure in and so the worshipers split in two factions.

The Od VaiLumen chose from the race of humans protectors for their species. Men and women who could see or feel the Light and answered the call of The Chosen. Granted by the Od VaiLumen authority over the elements the women became Fury’s, the first and most powerful defense against those who sought to destroy the human race. The Guardians, sworn to fight and guide the Fury’s were granted longer life and strength in order to heal the wounds of their charges. Even in this the Od VaiLumen had no say for if death took a Fury or Guardian their light was extinguished for ever…

For ever…

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