"this is love & it's reality" may 17, 2010

i’m probly as real as it gets
when speaking my heart
about what it expects
i come from a childhood
that hardly showed me
that love was anything good
i’ve seen a merciful road
when mom & dad split &
when home wasn’t home
love never showed it’s face
while my mom repented
& when dad went away

i was beyond one with this reality
love was screwed up, i hated it so..
divorces, fights, i knew the real enemy
i was all about the tears it provoked..

then God gave others to them
& proved to me this thing
never fails to come again
based on what i went through
love wasn’t something
i was looking forward to
but at some point somewhere
i grew me some feelings
& some boys wanted share
along came heartaches & tears
but i never claimed to be in
love till my sixteenth year

ohio ripped me straight out of reality
opposites attract, i swear they can..
ohio stopped all reasoning inside of me
& he was far from a perfect man..

i drank his sweet liquor up
& then i licked every single
inch of that holy war cup
i wouldn’t stop if i could
cuz he gave me his love
& it was everything good
till we payed prices & shame
he got in some trouble
of course i did the same
but i learned lessons from him
when you always do wrong
consequences come quick

i crashed to the ground back into reality
pride & regret was my food & fuel..
& all the pretty color washed off you see
makeup can’t cover the face of a fool..

how could i let myself go?
for the longest time i
considered myself widowed
cuz the fellas came & went
& i didn’t look twice, my
empty heart wasn’t for rent
i was a zombie on earth
obsessed with feelings
i was constantly hurt
but i had to shrug it off
if i knew what was best
for myself, i’d move on

then God pulled happiness into reality
i can’t stress enough how good he is..
a hole in here, surprisingly, it’s fine with me
cuz i felt love once, so i know it exists..

even though i’ve seen love’s bad side
i can’t imagine a more better thing
i’d rather have in life.

"this is love & it's reality" may 17, 2010

somemaryness

Joined June 2010

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