Gabriel Skoropada

Clyde North, Australia

I take photographs in order to express myself. I hope you enjoy them. / My education is technical and square and photography lets me use...

Just ranting...

It was a difficult day for me today, so on my way back home from the office I thought that it would help to talk about it, and since I don’t have anyone available to talk now, I’m writing this.

First, let me tell you a little about myself: I’m a 32 years old guy, married and working as a project manager for a major international corporation. I have a degree in electromechanical engineering and I have a matching mindset.
I chose atheism to be my faith.
About two and a half months ago, my first son was born.
I also have a little noisy dog.
I got into photography about a month ago, but I don’t have much time to practice it. Most of the pictures you will see in my collection are older shots, taken in the pre-photographic era.
Last, but not least, I live in Buenos Aires, Argentina, a place that I’m sure that most of the people here know only by name.

After this brief introduction, I will tell you about my day and what’s behind it.

Last night, about 3:00 am, our baby woke up crying, and my wife went to sooth him, but it was prooving to be a difficult task, so I suggested to feed him, so he would calm down. My wife didn’t like that at all, but nevertheless, she let me do it. To better understand this situation, you should know that in the last two weeks our son had slept 8 hours in row.
My approach worked, but pissed off my wife. That I realized in the morning, when she would barely speak to me, and even suggested to send the boy to a day-care center.

This situation was only the trigger that got me into a depressed mood. I started thinking also about life in general and why people do what they do. I mean, why does everyone get up in the morning and go to work, to college or whatever else they do?
I came to the conclusion that I didn’t know why I did what I do everyday.
My job pays very well, but it doesn’t fill me. I think of it as an obligation I have to fulfill.
Sometimes I think my marriage is not as happy as I’d like. My wife and I seem to share many things sometimes, but we are completely opposite some other times.
My son should fill me with joy, but when I think that I’m his father, having this “possitive” life view, it puts me down.

Sometimes I find myself thinking that the world would notice if wasn’t there.

The conclusion I draw quite often is that, as I don’t believe in an afterlife, I don’t have an ultimate goal in life, so I just go with the flow and work, eat, interact, write journal entries…

This conclusion leads me to think that I would be much better of if I was just a sorry little guy, with no education, just worrying about survival, than what I am today.

This will probably seem like a lot of nonsense for you, but I needed to get it out of me.

Feel free to leave comment, whether good or bad.

Thanks for reading.

Journal Comments

desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait