Silent Running

Silent Running

Our tables that sit alone
Once held photos of our loved ones
Our couch that we shared
Holds your silhouette even though your not there
Our kitchen counters and the recipes we planned
Still hold fragrances of your hands
The shoes you left waiting to be worn
Are still sitting by the door
Our empty bed
Holds dreams that are now dead

You never sang
Or listened to the words
Well here’s my song
Oh wait!
It’s one you never heard

When I sit by myself
And think of you
It brings back tears
Of how lonely
I felt when you were here
If tears could talk
The story they’d tell
Is that the day you left
My loneliness left as well

If you admit that you’re wrong
You will have to take responsibility
I can forgive you for not getting it
I can never forgive you for not wanting to try

I gave you everything
But lost nothing
I look around
And see everything
You may have left without anything
That is what you deserve

The bloom of lust wears off
If you can’t love your children
You can’t love anyone else
You are a jag off!

You say you didn’t know what I needed
I kept telling you
You are selfish
I protected your
I defended you
I walked on egg shells for you
I loved our kids for you
I cooked for you
I waited for you
I lived for you
I gave excuses for you
I waited for you
I sacrificed for you
I supported you
I pleased you
I waited for you
I wanted you
I loved you
I hoped for you
I sat in silence for you
I thought about you
I loved your family for you
Now I don’t know you

20 years of weakness
Waiting, weighting me down
Wine, whining Boo! Hoo!
Who are you?
My children’s hearts
Are mine, my true love
They get it
They are my core
They are my center
They are mine

Home is where the heart is
I’m sorry you have no heart

Truth brings closure
Silence means guilt

You live in a box
You don’t look out
You are too selfish
To see anyone looking in

Thanks for not being there all these years
I have become stronger through my tears
Thanks for letting me find the way
With my children I will stay
Focused everyday

Why don’t I take care of that?
Why don’t you take a break?
Why don’t I tuck them in?
Why don’t we spend some time together?
If only you had asked why

You took the closet door off
Sorry I kept leaving it open
You did it to make a fool of me
The lesson I learned you see
Is that you don’t do that to someone you love
You should have apologized to me

Even with all the moments
You never took care of me
The strength I have came from me

Sometimes I’m reminded
Of how you made me feel
Like I wasn’t there
Don’t make me feel
Like your better then me
Don’t make me feel like my voice is raw
Don’t tell me to be quiet
Don’t break my heart
It’s the only one I’ve got
You should know better
But you haven’t been taught
I’m not invisible
I’m right here
You are the one that disappeared

You have to say negative things
You have to blame me
I don’t have to say anything
I’ll just sit back and sing

The star I see through the window
What does it mean?
Is it true?
Star light Star bright, see it through
Your wish will come true
I know what I’ll wish for
To every star I see
I’ll wish for continued faith
That means the most to me

My heart was yours
I gave you my heart
Where was yours?
Good Bye

Deal with your problems
Before you make them mine
Oh! Wait you have no spine
At least I have mine

I keep wondering and asking
How could you do this?
People keep telling me how
I never wanted to believe it
I guess I will now

I’m looking for true love
Haven’t found it yet
When I was reminded from my brother
I’ve found it, yes
My true love is in my space
My soul, my face
Because when I look in the mirror I see
My children looking at me
I sit here sighing
In the dark
Feeling every breathe I take
My heart full of hate
I hope what’s in my heart wont empty
So I can’t breathe
I think I’ll take a deep breath
To make room for love
And to see the light in me

I’ve gotten so much advice
I appreciate it all
Because you see
The only thing that matters
Are people who believe in me

He loves his kids
He just doesn’t know how to show it
I won’t be saying that to myself, my family, and my friends
He doesn’t love his kids
I know that now
He never wanted them

I know you want me
I will please you indefinitely
As long as I give you what you want
You take advantage of me

I sit in our house
I decorated with love
Now I look outside
And see the for sale sign
Because of you I had to give up
What was mine
But don’t worry I’ll be fine
You know what they say
You can make any house a home
That’s what I’ve always done
You were never my strength
You were never my right hand man
You never came to my defense
You never even cared

Do I have the stamina?
To continue to be
The person I have become
Thanks to you three
You’ve’ given me the strength to carry on
So yes, I will continue to be the person you know I am
And hope to be

You told me you were a failure as a dad and a husband
Something I didn’t want to believe
I can forgive you for not loving me
But I will never forgive you for not loving your children
You are a failure
I now agree

I will find a man like my dad and brother
He will have a heart and love my mother
He will love music, and love to sing
Please God bring him to me

Silent Running


Joined September 2008

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