Infertility Treatments

Making a baby’s not always easy as can be
Shouldn’t take more than man, woman and maybe some Chablis
But sometimes nothing happens and you’ve gotta go see doc
And then the fun begins, yes fun like electric shock

Poking, prodding, outside and in
‘Till you think you’re going to the loony-bin
Little by little your patience wears thin
Until you’re ready to hit someone with a bowling pin

So many doctors and nurses all in white coats
Telling you when it’s time to sow your wild oats
Oh, and do not forget to take good notes
And remember for now, there’s no more deep throats

Sex becomes something it was not before
Procreation’s not fun anymore
Eventually you’ll spread for anyone wearing white
(Did not mean to make the butcher so completely uptight)

What about when the man has to spill sperm into a jar
They hand him a briefcase and tell him au revoir
As they send him down the hallway to a room that’s not too far
And do not even offer him an afterwards cigar

My favorite part’s the briefcase filled with every kind of porn
Pages of magazines are so tattered and so torn
Video stopped in the middle, doesn’t take much to decode
It’s there that the guy before him happily shot his load

You become someone else as hormones into you are pumping
Reminisce about the days when all you wanted was some humping
Now who the heck would want you as your belly’s nice and plumping
And your poor, sweet darling husband, against the wall is slumping

Because you called him home early, your fertility was at its peak
He rushed home and into the bedroom, never worrying about technique
The last thing you want is for him to see you, with your new, bloated physique
And when you’re done he holds your legs up, to make sure out, nothing can leak

When all is said and done, sometimes it works, sometimes it can’t
But you don’t have to resign yourself to being only uncle and aunt
Sometimes we go another way to bring into our lives a child
(And sex can go back to being fun, spontaneous and wild)
Because at the end of the day, we do not have to go without
There are always other ways when love’s what it is really all about

Infertility Treatments

Rikki Woods

Joined October 2009

  • Artist
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