My Great Indulgence

Having lived without love for so long
you’d think I’d be resigned to it, but I’m not.
I watch chick flicks and laugh and cry;
my heart breaks when things go wrong
just as if what was happening on the screen
was happening to me.

I daydream a lot about stupid impossible stuff –
the cute meet in the grocery store,
the handsome stranger stopping to help with a flat tire –
then pull myself up short for a good lecture
on the reality of being my age and hoping for love.

But still, that wish manifests itself in all kinds of ways.
I go out sometimes to restaurants, to clubs,
and when I do there’s always a tape loop
of a hopeful voice whispering,
“Maybe tonight will be the night.”
And invariably it isn’t, and I go to bed
laughing at myself for being a romantic fool.

One thing I do indulge without shame, though,
is my passion for roses.
Not only because they’re pretty,
and if you get the right kind they smell good,
but also because they’re one of the iconic symbols of love.

I have this notion – and please don’t laugh –
that surrounding myself with roses will attract love.
So I fill the house with them and florists, at least, do love me.
I put roses on tables and counters
and even the box newel on the stairway
where it turns at a right angle going up to the bedroom.

This feeble magick hasn’t worked yet, and chances are
I’m just spending a lot of money on expensive flowers,
but in the meantime I’ve got vases
full of living beauty just about anywhere I look.
And, in this harsh and crazy world,
where ugliness waits around just about every corner,
that’s not such a bad thing at all.

© 2015 RC deWinter ~ All Rights Reserved

My Great Indulgence

RC deWinter

Fairfield, United States

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Artist's Description

Living with roses as a metaphor for love.

Artwork Comments

  • Ann  Warrenton
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