Chocolate Sauce

I wish i could say i regret everything that happened.
I wish i could mourn the loss that i have experienced.
I wish i could say that i miss you.
Because i did love you.
Truely.
And you’ll always be there, back in the caverns of my heart.
But i find it impossible to grieve when i am so utterly content.
Happy.
This virgin emotion has been foreign to me since the day i lost everything.

It’s so strange how things happen.
I had everything in my life planned out.
So sure of how everything would be.
So pig headed that i sent you away.
I refused to give you the slightest inch.
Nothing was worth sacrficing my dream.
Still, nothing is.

But the thought of going in with someone holding my hand doesnt send me into a cold sweat anymore.
The inclining that maybe, just maybe i might share my dream of escape doesnt have my hackles raised is primitive and territorial rage.
I don’t hiss and claw at the man standing in the doorway.
My hand is actually itching to reach out and stroke him instead of the over powering urge to rip him to pieces.
And the strangest thing of all?
He is nothing like i imagined.
Nothing like my carefully wrought plans would allow.
But, somehow, he wormed through.
Clung to my thoughts like chocolate sauce to the most delicious of flesh.
And he;s still there. dripping down…
Coating my flesh…
Coating my heart.
And now i find myself consumed by the sweet blanket.

And i am happily drowning in it.

Chocolate Sauce

rayy

Joined March 2008

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