"Dear John"

Dear John,

I’m terribly sorry that this letter comes so soon after Valentine’s Day and the weather is so bleak. I debated sending this at a more agreeable time in the spring, but I was sure you would have already sensed my absence. After all, our love has not grown so cold as to be totally oblivious to each other’s presence. I do hold out the hope that you would have at least noticed I’d moved out. And that, my dear, is what I have done.Truly, this should not interrupt your life, although you will have to get off the couch and get your own dinner. I am not at all that heartless though. Check the freezer and you shall find three weeks worth of casseroles. I figure this should cover the time it will take you to woo a new love.You will have to master the laundry, but just in case I am enclosing the business card of a laundry service that picks-up and delivers. Ask for Sue. It’s such a pity that your mother has already passed, it would be much easier on all considered if you could just move back home and let her care for you instead.Anyway, Dear, I am gone. Still, I take pity on my replacement so I have left a little notebook among the cookbooks. It’s my own little handbook of sorts, explaining all your likes and dislikes. I feel that this should make the transition smoother. It should also avoid the dreaded “too much starch” in your dress shirts. (I have not included any of your preferences in the bedroom because it would not be suitable to preserve those in print. I also feel that there must be some discovery for your new love).So, my dear, I am gone, very far away indeed. As you read this please note that I did take care to fold your shirts and iron your pants before I went. If you are very careful, and can remember to hang them up, you may be able to prolong their wear. Now, I know that will be tough, as I can’t remember a single time you ever hung up your trousers. I feel no pity though, for you must suffer some. I am sure you will feel some loss at my departure. It will not last.Truly, I am gone. Hit the road, headed for the coast. I have left for you a full bottle of whiskey on the sideboard. Just go on and pour yourself a glass now. You may feel the need to drink it as you take stock of your situation. (The dishes in the dishwasher are clean, as I ran it before I left this morning).Good-Bye my Dear John, I will not be your doormat any longer!!!

Your lost love,
Jane

P.S. – I have paid all the bills and left my share for next month.

"Dear John"

Ruth Anne McCauley

Cave Creek, United States

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