Disenfranchised Alcoholism #2

Jason D. Laderoute

Joined March 2008

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Artist's Description

This was Taken with a Canon AE1 With a 55mm
I have temporarily lost the F Value and Shutter Speed. I was using BW Film 400CN
My first attempts with Film and BW.

I was waiting with a friend who had gone to pick his Youngest son up form work, while we were waiting my friend took a nap and I decided to look around for a subject to shoot with my New Vintage Canon AE 1 Film Camera.
This Man rode up on a Mountain Bike, His clothes are clean wearing a Leather Vest and a Bright White T Shirt, at First glance I thought he was just passing through, but I could not help but to notice him staggering towards the Dumpster, perhaps to pick for bottles and cans I thought.
(Now before I get too far into this I would like to state that this scene broke my heart, for one he has a means of surviving but rather than Spend his time endeavoring a normal life or getting help his choices have brought him to a very humble place of survival, I don’t have any intentions of judging this man and my statements and thoughts are gathered from knowing a few things about him in general, but in general I am not saying that it is the end all be all in his life, and that there are more deeper and private stipulations which are very impeding, of this I am sure but over all it is my prayer that the Lord would give me an opportunity to befriend this man, and this has been upon my heart since before the summer began, as I have seen him in many different places under some very peculiar circumstances and he keeps coming across my path. For this I cannot say that it has just been by chance that as time has passed I seem to find myself coming closer and closer to this mans life and perhaps I can hold out my hand and embrace his with hope and lift him up and give him some support, after all my heart goes out to this man. I don’t care about what he has done, nor do I care about what he does. Maybe he will accept some help, maybe he is willing to try and trust again for that matter. I hope I can show him that my life was not all too different in that I was too proud to quit when I knew I had problems, or perhaps I rather people see me in shambles because it feels better than spending some time with people who say they care and in the end they just wanted to feel better about themselves and play a lead role in some type of production)
Now this man spends a lot of time each day being busy, he has time allotted to him and he is diligent not to neglect his opportunities, with an open schedule ahead of him he wakes up with a fog in his skies, dimly peering through his windows he meagerly approaches his means.
Restaurant workers on their break from the morning rush sit feet away smoking their cigarettes and talking their jive about the things that are really not important.
Some of them look on to feel justified, one is disturbed as she feels ill in her heart while the others are ill in their minds and hearts and can’t find the grace to at least give the man his dignity.
No need, he takes his dignity with force, tearing open fresh thrown satchels stuffed with mostly eaten morsels, and perhaps with thankfulness and true freedom he is soon satisfied.
He is now more content to fight off the evenings poison….
He doesn’t need to choose from the menu, he has one of everything. Being early this day he still orders the same thing, always preferring the smorg.
He gathers his favorites and returns to his seat, always reserved as it is his, and arranged in his private nook not too far from the Kitchen so as to serve himself, I’m sure the servers are too busy to give him the attention that he really needs, their arrogance can’t take his order, their pride can’t wait for him to decide, at length their preference dismisses him they won’t even say good morning, good day, or good night. But he eats non the less, and he does not accept their shame. Truly they cannot afford his friendship, they are not rich enough, their love is too shallow and weak, and it vanishes before the thought could ever take hold.
Written By Jason Laderoute
Lord grant my Thy mercy, give to me Thy wonderful strength of love, unabashed and complete in accord with Thy will. Let me not think of myself any more than I should, and let me not sink down to a false humility. Help me Lord to see Your true Love, perfected by Your Will, I thank You O Lord that You can reach our hearts, and repair our minds, show me my selfish ways and give me the courage to confess it and lift it up to You. Make my heart clean, and give strength to my heart, fill me with Thy precious words of Life and Truth, Truly Your Word is Life, stream of living water. Only You can do the Marvelous things in Life My Lord, unless You Will it to be done then only will it be done, Let me not suppose for You but I ask that You would impose on me O Lord,
In the Blood the flowed O so crimson, my urgent need You did it for me Lord, I was a Murderer and yet You died for me, I slandered Your name and tried to deffer Your fame but Your Love over came me Lord, Your grace washed over me with a warmth beyond any compare. My Broken Mind and Stone set Heart You set in order and performed what no man can will or determine. Thy Glory is above all things and the Only precious things are Yours, You gave them to Your Precious Son, O how perfectly He cared for them, How Sufficiently He provided for them, You Alone are God, beside The Above The Around The nor Under is there any other, imaginations is all they be I thank You Father In the Only Name Worthy in Heaven Truly the Maker and Author of All things seen and unseen, Heard and Unheard. In Jesus I pray Amen

Artwork Comments

  • Robert Elliott
  • Jason D. Laderoute
  • Sean Farragher
  • Jason D. Laderoute
  • jase8812
  • Cora Wandel
  • EarthGipsy
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