The drug of euphoria has worn off
She’s fallen back to earth with a giant thud!
And is now keeping herself company
Dealing with herself one-on-one
Confronting the possibility that she is
Totally narcissistic…
Self absorbed…
One dimensional..
She is an emotional adolescent
Her thoughts revolve around her feelings
Her desires…
And yes…her demands
(And she hates it)

She looks with horror into the mirror of her soul
Recognizes a smaller version of herself
Sitting cross-legged
Playing in the quicksand of her self-centeredness
Reveling in it
Red faced with humiliation and guilt
She turns away
As the dam gives way
Tears cascade down her warm cheeks
And the agonizing realization dawns on her
That this ugly vision could very well materialize
Into the real world
Overtaking her…
Seducing her…
Leaving her with wasted opportunities
Lying dead at her feet
Paying homage to her undeveloped potential
This is not how she wants to spend what time she has left

She wipes her face dry with the back of her hand
Straightens her shoulders
Recognizing that it is time to grow up
She rejoices in the re-newness of her life
Just long enough to become adjusted to the
Pollution free existence that only self forgiveness can provide
It is time to leave behind old habits
Irrelevant feelings
And blaze a path worthy of who she is
Who she will become

With determination born out of regret
She vows to no longer live an isolated existence
She will touch people
And be touched in return
She will give back more than she receives
She will remain

But most of all..
She vows to love freely
Holding nothing back
Bearing with grace the pain
That is inevitable in a life lived fully
A life lived with no regrets……


Trish Cooper

Bloomington, United States

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