She

A smile hides within
As I hear your wicked voice
A child laughs and grins
Ignoring her own choice

The ground beneath her cracks
It breaks and it dies
But she smiles all the same
And severs all the ties

Giggles can be heard
From the one who knows no pain
Behold the echoed sounds
For she is truly sane

The crevices multiply
And the surface begins to fall
Greedily taking with it
The happy little doll

The painful truth of self awareness
Begins to crack her porcelain face
Slowly weathering this mask
Until it shifts, and gradually falls out of place

As her shell crumbles and cracks
She’s exposed …so still and alone
It’s a bitter pill to swallow
The tears she cries
Mirror my own

Now your words are clear
I can no longer deny
That everything I hear
Is such a painful lie

I am no longer this smiling girl
I have residence inside her
I cannot hide it anymore
My reflection’s no longer sure

You see, the fake face is not mine
I borrowed it from you
If I were to give it back
Would you smile like I do?

Would your vicious words stop
Would they come to an end
Here, take it back
Then, maybe we could mend

I care for you
You lie for me
Can this work
We will have to see

For now, just hold me
Never let me go
It may be a sinful need
But, no one has to know

I see you and the others
But no one sees me back
Perhaps this makes them blind
This vision that they lack

For them I give a laugh
For them I lie to me
I replace my angered wrath
And become another she

I am not her
Yet, we appear the same
It is twisted, and it’s sick
One of us deserves the blame

You look right through
So do I
Can someone see
That I am part of a lie

Did I ever exist
Isn’t it my right to choose
Just maybe I am wrong
But I cannot afford to lose

I have lost myself
The mask is real
I am numb to all
I can no longer feel

Someone could have saved me
That someone should have been you
But do not try to act guilty
My feelings are nothing new

I am a product of amnesia
And the cheat in the game
The one that’s overlooked
And always put to shame

The face I see
And the one that is mine
Are very different
Yet, neither of them shine

Will you ever love me
This person that I am
Whoever I have become
Do you truly give a damn?

I care about me
I will not die in debris
I will hold and hug myself
And allow myself to see

I am both halves of a lie
I am the only sign of truth
With my unblinking eyes
To match my unbreakable youth

I will not fall
And I will not fade
I will climb out with purpose
Of this mess that has been made

My smile will fall
But it will leave behind
A beautiful wall
To match my complex mind

So kiss my cheek
It is icy cold
For I am a child’s toy
From a liar’s mold

My glass will crumble
Like shards of sin
But I will continue to rise
Again and again…..

She

Trish Cooper

Bloomington, United States

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