"the pseudo virgins at the Catholic girl's school"

Roscoe, as soon as he had put down the beaker of liquid the girl’s had given him started to feel a slight buzzing warm sensation. That sensation when you feel you have done something naughty and should be punished but you got away with it (yes, you all know what I mean, kinda thrilling huh!)

The buzzing warm sensation gave way to tingly little feelings that run over his toes, up his shins then lightening strikes from his patella to his …

Author: I feel that area’s that I may be getting into in the paragraph ahead, maybe a uncomfortable to those of a delicate nature or they have someone in the family who has taken the cloth or is under a doctor’s care or incarcerated. I would prefer to use medical terminology as it is, let’s face pretty drab but self explanatory, just warning in advance in case someone has to sit down for a minute and count to ten and get a grip on themselves.

……..naughty bits, umbillicus, paps or memory erhm, mammary erhm man boobies, his chin thing, nose thing and his forehead and the back of the neck (a sensory organ that many under- ultilise … so I am told)

From the crotch in his slightly over sized coveralls, there emanated a ‘whistle’. Now this whistle being a part of his surname and of course his heritage, was a phenomenon (hah, knew how to spell that one, kinda cute eh) only known to the Mingewhistle’s and only the male of the species. It was a family rumour that one of his forebears was used at the Battle of Hastings to spur on the men, a high pitched whistle bursting from his nether regions that caused horses to rear and the English pikeman to scatter thereby leading to the Norman invasion of England .

(Just a bit of history there, in case your interested …. Ahhh yes I hear you say, Wow that Pooh is pretty greatly emjamicated)

Many male Mingwhistles had been used over the centuries and the sound coming from their nether regions to spur on to victory or a call to arms, air raid siren or a ‘come and get it’ at a lot of picnics or starting hooter at a lot of field and track events. Some said his mad uncle Verbatim “The Screamer” Mingewhistle was used at the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games in Munich, but was dismissed by all and sundry as bullshit, a good story, but bullshit all the same and would constantly hear it when Verbatim went on a bender or his milk-run and paper route.

Roscoe’s dad was used quite a few times when the piccolo section of the woodwind ensemble of the “Vas Deferens After Dark Five” jazz band all got pissed on scrumpy and did not turn up for the local fetes. Very accomplished he was, marvelled at.

Roscoe also had this talent but in a lower octave, but had only used it three times. Once when the teaching nuns at his school bent over to pick up some dropped chalk in the classroom and the second time when he was about 12 or thirteen and his mother strode into his bedroom, pulling the curtain aside and he was giving his dirty ‘tallywacker’ a good clean (for about fifteen minutes) and she screamed out “You dirty little bugger”
….. “What are you up to my boy”
…..“It’s a sin you know”
…..“All the little saints in heaven will be crying now”
…..“Wait till I tell Father Ryan on Sunday what you have been doing”
…. “You will spend eternity sad and forgotten by your family”

Roscoe replied “It was dirty Ma”
…. “It’s mine MA … and I will wash it as much as it needs to be washed !!!”

Roscoe, being really embarrassed about being caught, his ‘dingle dongle’ let out this basso profundo and broke nearly all the windows in the house, his mother’s second best crystal, the door to the barn and the milking cows ran off and would not milk for three days, made two of the apple trees in the orchard lose all their fruit, the ‘victory bell’ in the chapel in the next town to vibrate for a good ten minutes and the pseudo virgins at the Catholic girl’s school,squirm with delight during playlunch, lunch and getting onto the bus before they went home .

… and the third time was in the Alley of a Thousand Sighs, just last Tuesday night, as a joke to make the ladies jiggle about a bit.

Any of the ladies that happened to be propping up the walls on the sloping side on the brightly lit left hand side of the road

……(Roscoe had been told that these ladies were employed by the shire council in an engineering capacity to stop the walls from falling down, and that is why they stayed there and occasionally gave men in cars, directions to the high street, and if they were unsure, were helpful enough to get in the car with them and help them to find the high street)

Roscoe never had the opportunity to use his ‘gift’ again … until now.

Both Gertrudis and Evangaline had various emotions coursing through them on hearing Roscoe’s take on Tom Jones “Deliah” bursting forth from his buttoned fly, from being dumbstruck to hot and cold flushes and really, really nice feelings in their ‘downstairs’ … which felt really nice mmmm really nice.

Roscoe had to sit down, his body was now trembling, hot flushed and he began to cry for no reason, his eyes wandered over the lab and he thought between little sniffles and sighs and he did not want his eyes to look red, that the girls had done a marvelous job in making the place look more homey, although was a bit perplexed why they would put blue cushions on a red couch and crimson roses in the vase on the bench where soft blue tulips would be more suited. He still felt manly but realised that a woman’s life was very hard, very hard indeed.

“Girls” Roscoe said. "You know you are both looking a bit tired. You should ask Mr H if he would let you have an afternoon off to get a manicure and a style at the “Pink Flamingo”…. It would do you both the world of good and spark you up I am sure … make you feel better, wonderful even … New you"

Evangline and Gertrudis both looked at each other with glee and dollars signs literally sprang from the ears. The knew they had a goldmine at their fingertips.

I are a bit naughty aye Pooh@2011

"the pseudo virgins at the Catholic girl's school"

Pooh

Joined June 2009

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