"boy, did I swoon now"

Well it came to pass, like all things did and my pappa approached the Bishop, requiring him to post the bans of marriage in the cathedral but also requesting him (with his sword, slightly unsheathed, that is, the sword in his scabbard, not his other one) to join he and his new love, straight after the reading of the banns.

The Bishop, started to swell like a big ballon and muttered to my pappa about how it was unseemly and against current church dogma, in reading the banns and performing the marriage ceremony almost within an hour of each other.

My pappa then took him by the shoulders and gave him an almighty shake to convince him that it would be much better for his health, if he did as requested.

(Unfortunately for the Bishop, on being shook, there descended from underneath his voluminous regalia and landed at his feet, two altar boys, a cat, a small dog, two hares and the wart faced town gossip. They all ran off in different directions as the Bishop’s face turned beet red)

….. “I believe sire, that under the circumstances, that as a moral and upright representative of the church, (he paused, deeply breathing in and adjusting his underclothing) the banns and the ceremony can and will be held on the same day”.

(He turned and as proud as he could, the Bishop turned and stepping over puddles of the garrison’s late nite ‘rollicking and merrymaking squirts’, hurriedly chasing after the two altar boy’s and the cat)

My pappa had broken the news to me earlier in the day and I took to my bed in sorrow and despair, how could have he forgotten my mamma so quickly.

The news quickly spread (the wart faced town gossip, was quicker than Myspace) and unbelieveable amounts of mice shite, dung and guilders were wagered on how long the the ‘new’ mistress would last until she was split assunder, as she was only a slip of a girl, small boned, slim waisted and huge knockered.

I then vowed and declared to the memory of my mamma, that I could longer live under the same roof as this small boned, slim waisted and huge knockered usurper. I would wait until after the ceremony and then I would leave, to go to the ‘big smoke’ and find my own way in life..

Pappa was saddened a little bit, as he had many things on this mind, mainly the small boned, slim waisted and huge knockered lass that would soon warm his bed on cold nights, late nights, early nights, summery nights any nights or any days for that matter.

The ceremony was over, my bags were packed, the special brown suitcase with mamma’s appliances’ safely stowed, except for ‘hellboy’,

I had no idea, where ‘hellboy’ had disappeared to. (Although I did believe that the small boned, slim waisted and huge knockered lass had removed it ….. mamma’s favourite.)

My parting words to pappa were of course, sad and mournful, unfortunately, his head kept turning and looking at his new bride, cavorting from the third storied battlement, her busty substances, swinging in the breeze. So he only heard every fourth or fifth word.

I had obtained a position with a large accounting firm in the big city.

Taketa, Munee Endrun had a substantial client portfolio. Their two biggest clients were the Wanna Brothers and the Dis Nee Corporation.

…………………….(Can you see where this is all heading?)……………………..

I was sitting at my desk, early one morning and the clink of spurs attracted my attention. Looking up, I noticed a battered hat, just peering over the top of the desk, then a bulbous nose and the longest whiskers I have ever seen.

…..“Hiya toots, where youse bin hiding all my life. Your a hot lookin dame, wanna go out for some cawfee and shoot the breeze, or summfin”.

The glint in his bloodshot eyes, made me squirm and a cold chill ran through me. He came around to my side of the desk and looked me straight in the eyes. His request was a statement of fact. His right and left hand, rested on the six guns at his waist and his ‘other six gun’ was also in attendance.

My heart beat faster and faster and I as I looked for some knight in shining armour to come to my rescue …. there, walking through the door, the most handsomest, tallest, incredibly hottest looking ‘stud muffin’ walked in.

‘Hey, you leave my babe alone’, he said and winked at me.

All you could hear was the jingle of spurs and mutters from the ‘short arse’ as he fumed and walked away.

I had not swooned since the stable boy at the castle had introduced me to the ‘dung boy’s’ cavorting with the garrison’s strumpets ….. boy, did I swoon now as his eye’s traveled over my young, ripe for the taking, body. I swooned so much, I fell off my chair and landed on the floor, my legs akimbo.

The ‘dung boy’s’ always told me, akimbo is really awesome.

What is to become of young, ripe for the taking, Sna Wyatt NOW?

"boy, did I swoon now"


Joined June 2009

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