Welcome to Paradise

Your tired …. you smell … everyone smells. The air conditioner blows sub zero temperatures, You, being smart, have dressed for the tropics, thin tee and shorts and thongs (flip flops, jangles, whateva), the person sitting beside you, slowly and secretively, lifting a cheek off the seat, to sneak one away, within microseconds, the commuter bus is filled with an odour of hurriedly rushed Maccas at the airport, plastic plane food, beer and wine, oh, yes, peanuts, there always seems to be peanuts … this brings on a competition, within the confines of the sardine can on wheels … murmurs of “OMG” … "TOM, was that you? …. the ever present post pubescent comment “Shit, a rat just crawled up someone’s arse and died”

It seems to me, that the further and longer the “free transfers” progress, the quality of accommodation slowly goes from palatial to roofing iron leaning up against a fence. Sure, you trawled through glossy brochures, chased deals on the net (“damm if I will pay an agent, I can do better and it wont cost the sale of an organ or two”)

What does one expect, three old buttons, some loose change and a used bus ticket, that should get you the Taj Mahal, or close to it.

Slowly, the transporter empties, there is room to move, you notice ….. you CAN open a window …. why oh why, did you not see that before.

Sounds of, “Have a great time”, hoping against all hope, that you will never see them again, like most of us, that’s not going to happen, they tend to turn up at the most unlikely times.

Knew it, you could’nt be the first off …by now, comfortably lying on your bed, clean sheets, the sound of the ocean wafting through the open balcony door … nope …. you had to be last off … looking like god knows what …. Staff standing there, all crisp and clean, the beating of a drum, being handed a multi-coloured drink, in the tallest glass you have ever seen … “Please, by all that is holy, make it alcoholic, please, I don’t care if it’s 4am in the morning, the sun is up somewhere in the world”

Not being genteel, you throw it back, not even hitting the sides, you hold your empty glass out for another … no way … welcome to paradise. The place is dark, paths of crushed coral, meander here and there, the smell of kerosene and ever present coconut oil, creates a curtain, that you have to pass through. Your stomach rumbles … oh no, not now, please …. you know that this won’t be a sneaky one and you are pretty sure that a rat DID crawl up your arse and die and brought his family with him … you try every subterfuge, to allow some distance between you and the black man mountain lugging your baggage in front of you … all you want is a quick sneakee, the kerosene and coconut oil will overpower the aroma, the waves breaking on the reef will muffle the sound …. did’nt work did it … OMG all the staff will know within hours …. sly looks and giggles will be with you for your stay ….. welcome to paradise

The Incredible Pooh @2209

Welcome to Paradise


Joined June 2009

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