I have received a comment and an email (more than one) regarding the use of my word choices and punctuation. No, its not that I have sit here writing, consulting a thesaurus, and then posted a story onto redbubble.

Growing up as a kid, I was weird, reading all the time, even as I sat on the hockey bench waiting for my turn in net – this didn’t bring a lot of friends to my side. When I finally sat there with the classics, I consulted a dictionary. Even to this day, I still, every time I come upon an unknown word, place it on a flash card, which then goes into a pile that I review at least once a week. Once I have mastered these cards, they go into my PDA. Most people have a PDA that is used for schedule and time management. Mine serves as a writer’s notebook. I write interesting conversations that I have had, or heard, as well as transcribe the flash cards into electronic form and then review them every time I get a free minute. The doctor’s office, waiting in a long line at the auto parts store, and even when Im just bored with whatever , all these instances serve as a time for reflection or review. I now have thousands of words in this PDA – I have found the “maestro by Toshiba” to have the best handwriting sensitivity; in case you cared- and I know very nearly all of them.

It’s interesting, Im infatuated with words, they provide different shades of feelings. For instance you can say depressed or lugubrious. Lugubrious according to Webster, being an adjective, means dismal almost mournful. How else do you describe this state? Its not the same as being depressed. When I go back and read books from Faulkner like “Absalom, Absalom” or from Dickens like “Barnaby Rudge”, they all the sudden have a new meaning. These words bring life that I just can’t describe to you.

However, as I search for my “voice”, I know that the lonely world that I live in, will continue to remain an isolated place as long as those around me, my peers, can not ascertain my meaning. Hopefully, I can reconcile the difference.

Journal Comments

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