Here i am

so! there i am, sitting, waiting, mopping and having my £5.00 bottle of Albanian tango. In that dead, dry abondom small corner of certain uncertainty. I sit and wait for the most obviously unsure future that lays ahead of me. Im drinking on a chair, living, loving my life with a certain dislike for evryone else whose not in it. Im sitting and slowly dying. When there she walks into my desolate, unlovingly humid little place. The place i come once or twice a week to cry and drink away my tears, replace them with an exquisit taste of something new, something odd. Why is she here? Who cares though, there she is, slowly walking in through that door. I see nothing else but her. I quickly steal her beautiful looks and plant them in my head, i know she’ll walk out of my life soon. she’ll be gone soon, and i wont ever see her again, except in my mind. Whats your name? Why do you come to torment me? To tease me and dangle yourself in front of me? like a child dangles a treat infront of another child who does not have one. I dont like you. I detest you and all others like you. I dont want you. I shouldn’t want to, but i do because i want you. I swear it, i want you.

Now look at me. Look at me. Why won’t you look at me? Just a glimpse will do. A mear glance at me and i will be alive. Look at me i say! Just notice me and maybe i’ll be happy again. You dont want to do you? You think im not worth it don’t you? Your right im not worth it. Hate me. loathe me. hate me. ignore me. for i dont exist unless you allow me.

Here i am

Paul Banda

Joined September 2008

  • Artist

Artist's Description

this is just a short well…thing i just quickly got down. its bad i know but i had to.

desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

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