ABUSE.part 1.

It is Sunday…and I am restless……..so much to write…where to begin……..all topics really belong together…..but need to be put into different catagory’s……………all as important as the others……..maybe I should start by saying that I have been a Qualified Psychiatrist for over 30 years….and a Consultant Psychiatrist for 15 of those, so I do know what I am talking about ………I also understand that there will be some who will read what I write here and get soo angry because they will not agree…and thats fine…….maybe they will get angry enough to take a good look at their lives and do something about it……because what this journal is about is ABUSE……..Child abuse……Sexual Abuse….Spouse Abuse…Elder Abuse……and Personel Abuse……so if you don’t wish to hear the truth Leave now…because I make no apology for what I write here……it is TRUTH….and for those who cannot accept or hear the truth, it is Your problem……take it with you as you leave…….I have heard all the excuses……

Yesterday I was going over some notes I had made over time , one piece gave me so much grief…..A Supreme Court Magistrate had stated, when hearing a case of Assault by a Husband….that " it is perfectly acceptable for a Husband to beat his wife now and again…..it is part of what a marriage is about…….."……………this was stated as the Wife was in the Intensive Care Unit of the local Hospital suffering from multiple injuries……broken jaw……severe internal injuries…..brain damage……….The Magistrate gave the husband a 6 month probationary period as a penalty…..???
This has caused so much angst ever since by members of the Public……….I could go on and on about the controversy……
however I was asked for my opinion………and I gave it……
Violence in any shape or form is never acceptable in a marriage or anywhere else …….In a marriage when Violence enters , the marriage is ended…….FOR the moment……
.it may be salvaged……..after it has been worked on and through………when a Man lifts his hand to a woman he has taken the first step in realising how easy it is……..by the same token …MEN are not the only ones who find this out…because WOMEN are today just as likely to be the perpetrator…..so……when the hand has been raised…..the first lesson is learned…it is easy………the next step should be for one or other to WALK AWAY……rarely do they……the perpetrator comes to their senses and we have apologies…we have tears……we have promises…it will never happen again…and most victims will forgive……….because it means there will be Peace….he/she didn’t mean it……and we all want to believe that…but……….we forget the first lesson………it was easy………….the problem is…..by forgiving and trying to forget we have in fact GIVEN permission for it to happen again….because the perpetrator now understands that the wife/husband will forgive them…………and for a while all will be well…….all will be loving and considerate…..until the next time … someone’s temper cannot be controlled……and it starts all over again……..because nothing was done to solve the reason why it happened in the first place……
.the answer…when the hand is raised the first time…WALK OUT………seek help……but walk out……and do not go back until the anger problem is solved with help…..there are many Agencies available for this help look in the telephone directory…….and it doesn’t matter if it is just you and your wife/husband you need help………..if there are children in the marriage then it is imperative that you walk out…..and remove the children to a safe place……..never let your children know that this is acceptable because they may just grow up to continue this abuse by thinking it was ok for Mum/Dad…so what’s the problem…………………the other problem is the children may not have been on the receiving end of this outburst…but eventually they will be…because Blind rage does not see children …..does not see the damage being done until it is too late……..if its ever seen , without ending up with a Dead Body…….
Spousal Abuse is not going to be ‘fixed’ over night……it takes time………and outside assistance….and it is for YOU the victim to decide just what is acceptable…………be strong…….stand up for yourself there are many people who will help you……but YOU have to make the first move….Do not become just another Statistic……..You are Precious….you have the RIGHT to live without fear…..YOU have the RIGHT TO LIVE……Recognizing the Signs before it’s too late..

Repetitive interactions with a passive aggressive person can leave you feeling emotionally drained, dejected, and distressed. So, how do you know if the relationships in your life are causing your unhappiness? There are indicators that point to passive aggressive behavior and its hidden anger as one heavy influence in your own moods. In order to accurately judge your relationships it is important for you to recognize the signs.

They include:

Unexpected, unprovoked outbursts that are disproportionate to the issue.
Isolation or pouting, or retreating into his/her world.
He/she is oblivious to your feelings.
Ignoring or blocking you from communication.
Being sensitive and caring one minute; acting aggressive the next.

(if anyone wishes to talk to me privately ..bubble me and I shall be happy to pass on my private E-Mail address..)

Journal Comments

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