One day I shall commit Murder........

trust me it will be premeditated…….it will be planned so beautifully…….it will not be messy……..it will be quiet and dignified…because I am quiet and dignified……….the person I am going to Murder…my Daughter…………
SHE has mastered the art of sending me on a guilt trip so well it has become an ART Form…..and she always WINS……..
What brought this on today….? simple…….last night we put our clocks back one hour…..we have joined the enlightened ones….the sensible ones…….the ones who realise that people were meant to wake and get UP when the sun lazily crawls through our windows….announcing another day has arrived………and NOT have us grope around in a half light tripping over shoes we should have put away last night…
I rose quietly this morning, made my way to the bathroom and did what I usually do……….cleaned my teeth……?? then slowly made my way into the kitchen to the fridge where I poured a gllass of ice cold orange juice which I drank on the back verandah while I contemplated the day ahead and thought about what I would have for breakfast……..I usually eat very little on rising…today I had a treat in store……
I had managed to purchase some field mushrooms..and so anticipated a delightful breakfast of freshly grilled bacon and mushrooms and tomatos on toast….now that seems harmless enough doesn’t it………
I am convinced my Daughter has a Camera pointed at my home…….she “KNOWS” every move I make…and yes….she arrived … minutes after the breakfast was displayed in all its glory on the table on the back verandah……the coffee was hot and so ready…..the table looked wonderful…I had even put a fresh flower in a tiny glass…
all was in place for me to ‘indulge’ myself……..and SHE arrived…………….
“Coffee smells good Mum can I have some…” she called as she made her way into the kitchen for a cup……………….." help yourself " I called……..as I picked up my knife and fork………….my mouth watering at the thought of those delightful mushrooms just waiting to be devoured…………" MUM" !!!!! …..she cried out " you know your not supposed to eat a breakfast like that …..it will put your blood pressure up" just as I was about to deposit a small piece into my mouth…………..grrrrrr…….then I remembered I had not yet taken my medication…………so off I toddled to get the said tabs…………..I returned just in time to see her put a huge fork full of bacon and mushrooms into her mouth…….ohhhhhhhhhhh………..grrrrrrrrrrrr
“This is soo good” she mumbled…………..“I thought it might be” I said…………
" do you realise there is enough here to feed a family in Biafra for a week " she mumbled through the food she was devouring……………"I am not sure they have field mushrooms in Biafra " I said…….." that is not the point " she snapped……
“apart from anything else you know its not good for you ..so why do you do it”
the fact that as the saying goes ..a little bit of what you fancy does you good seems to have escaped her……………….being now aware that she was not going to let me eat my breakfast in peace I poured a coffee……….SHE proceeded to eat the bacon and mushrooms…………….." is that nice" I asked through gritted teeth……….“mmmm” she
mumbled as she ate the last piece of bacon……leaving only tomato’s on the toast for me……..!!!!! …… "so glad you enjoyed it " I said almost in tears……….
" what did you call in for….?“……………..”oh" she replied “just wondered if you wanted to come for a drive to Donnybrook……” they had the Apple festival a week or so ago
so wondered if you would make us some Apple Pies..we could see what other fruit is available and maybe do some bottling ready for winter……but I feel so full now maybe we can leave it for tomorrow..“…………………as she gathered her bag and bits ready to leave………..”GOOD IDEA…" I said…………almost as a growl……..looking sadly at my empty plate………….“YOU stay home and I shall pick you up about 10am” I said
dreaming of my breakfast TOMMOROW……..as I listened to her car going up my driveway………….and vowing I will look everywhere to find that camera………
maybe tomorrow I will commit murder…………she did it AGAIN………maybe I can move,………………………………………… far enough away so that she cannot come at breakfast time…..cannot deprive me of the delightful hour or two that I have in the morning…eating a delightful breakfast ALONE without the feeling that I am stealing food from hungry childrens mouths…………I can think of that later………AFTER I have worked out how to commit the perfect MURDER…….
I do love my daughter……..BUT………………………………

Journal Comments

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