Don't Hurry Your Kids

How sad it is for all of us, to hurry our children to learn and do for themselves, and try to be a good parent. Yes we enjoy every minute and complain alot of times of the things we go without or time we don’t have for ourselves. But then………….You awake one morning, no one at your bedroom door, wanting you up to make a breakfast, or ask help with spelling words for the big test that day, or telling what one sibling did wrong, spilled milk all over the table and there’s not enough for the others, your head is splitting from no sleep being up all night with a sick baby .You haphazardly get out of bed, listening to the yelling and screaming, now the baby is crying too. Will you get though the next hour before they leave for school? No husband to share the stress or intercept the fights, all you, as usual for years. but you wouldn’t trade it for the world, they are your babies, all yours now, God will get you through, it altho it seems He’s slacking too.Once up and adjusted, take care of the major job first, feed them, wipe tears, and try to put smiles on the other twos faces, and then change the baby. This goes on for along time, many years, different stages of wonderful life being a mom. You dont notice, cept when you buy clothes, that they are growing, and lately not around as much, independence age you know, gone with friends, then homework, supper, bath bed. A new routine. Then another routine, soon one by one they go out on there own, cut the apron strings and let them go, The first two isn’t bad because you still have two at home to keep you occupied, then the next one, and then you really see a difference in your life, and how much your not noticed, needed or really a part of their life. You are just there. Less and less you see the last one, too busy with school activities and friends and school projects, not much time for mom’s silly things of wanting to play lapboard games or watch a movie.You sit in the day and remember all the sweet things, and accidents, and arguments, and school problems, and neighbor fights, oh how empty it is. Is this all there was?Tears run down your cheeks, and with stinging eyes, you try not to cry, you hold it inside, and try to be greatful for all those years you had them, yet, it comes and goes always, holidays, birthdays, spring, snow, fall leaves, every where you look you see your young children and you seem them in other’s children and wish so hard you would of just left the days go by but sat and enjoyed them every minute instead of rushing them to crawl, walk, run, talk grow up, be teens then adults, anxious for them to go on there on, never realizing that meant you were going to be alone.You rejoice with all their triumphs away from home now, but they dont share there every day, of course not, they are men and women, but you dont feel the closeness as when they were young, and someone pulled her hair in school, or he fell off the bike, or what they want for christmas and you try to get it to surprize them, and all the birthday parties and friends sleep overs, your no longer a part of there steeler parties they have or there friends baby showers or cook outs. That is their grown up things now, mom dont go to those, or share themYou try to be strong and say, “live your life, mom will always be here for you, learn and explore the new world, reach your destiny”, and pray they are safe and make good deceisions.Oh how I wish I kept them a little longer, but you cant stop the years from turning or the nights becoming days. I wonder if dads feel this emptiness, mothers have them longer, and share more intimate things. Do they really know their sons and daughters, or are they just the male parent? I wouldnt know, didnt have a dad or a husband long enought to help to see if they missed the kids, or feel the loneliness it is without them, my little babies. I’m so proud of them, but wish Ididn’t hurry them to grow up, I guess I didn’t hurry them to, it’s just nature, you always go forward and nothing can stop it in growth. But one should enjoy their children like they will not have them tomorrow.Some times, I hear a teenage male voice saying, MOM, and I jump up thinking one of them came home. I imagined it I guess, I miss them so much. I made so many mistakes in my youth, wanting breaks from them, going out once in awhile to be a woman, and not a mother, to end up now, a woman and no more mother.We end the way we started, a woman then mother then a woman. Only and empty woman now. Pieces removed from you. I wish I had ten kids, then I would be old before any of them would all be gone haha.You wait to hear from them on the phone, your heart flutters, your so happy, but it’s always so short, and distant, because there isn’t much to talk about anymore, no more, how the game is going or how so and so’s boyfriend is doing with anothers friend, or how to figure out a problem, or a heart that needs mended or a skinned knee, or the latest episode on a program we watched every week. not much to talk about now, nothing to share, they are living there life now, too much to tell mom in detail, just the highlights.You rehearse memories, years, smiles, stories, sad and funny episodes you went through with them. YOu can remember when they lost a tooth, got stitches, got an award, graduated,,met a mate. Living in another world, all your memory bank of children. Now I know what my mother always meant when she said," I dont see you kids as your are now, but as little". I didnt quite understand. We were always the little girls and boys that never grew up in her eyes.Sometime the pain of their absence is bad, you must wake up and be glad they are living, they grew into great adults, and you were a part of them being what they are today, but …… you are not in their lives today like yester year. That is what hurts the most, you want them on your lap, tuck them in, comb there hair, fight with them to brush their teeth. Watch how they try to wiggle their way to stay up a few minutes longer when its bedtime. Seeing though the schnannigans. haha Christmas morning, there tears of joy when they got what they wanted from Santa. Living your life all for them. YOur gifts from God. but for a borrowed time. Yet, they are yours forever.I can watch movies of some of them when they were young and still be there with them on there special days, and all the relatives. Here them scream and laugh but no more children when I shut it off, they are all gone. Nothing can take their place, each individually created and each a different loving personality. Each special in mom’s heart in their own way with separate memories.Don’t let your children grow up faster then they should. There is plenty of time to let them go and plenty of time for you to be alone, after they go. Its not heavenly when they are grown. Its miserable. Yes you have freedom to come and go, and spend and do for you and the house stays clean and theres no big loads of clothes to wash or no fites to break up. But it becomes lonesome and painsaking when all there is with you, is you, your memories and the phone.

Don't Hurry Your Kids

oreobeggar

Joined October 2008

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Help aide, hopefully for mothers everywhere for when it gets tough.

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