absence

there were times before
when the past wasn’t my fault
and there was the near break up later
as the past interfered
its consequences had become my fault…
there were times before, and later, and in-between, and even now
when I take it all in
and I too think it is all my fault
…simply because it is inconvenient.
and there are moments of clarity
when i know that neither the past,
nor its present consequences have ever been my fault
even when I am not strong enough
to stay present when I am feeling small…

communication is a long road
with many blind corners
desert stretches
and several Marianna’s Trenches

some of these, I’ll claim my part.
others, belong to the past
to a child who lives in me
and holds the words in, like bombs that will destroy the world!
even as their absence shakes us apart…

Journal Comments

  • BiographyofRed8