Lord Quagmire

I will never forget the day I met the man who rewrote the definition of maliciousness, Lord Quagmire. He was a stubby old man, wearing a pitch-black cloak that seemed to absorb the little light coming from a flickering light bulb, making the narrow hallway seem extremely gloomy. I only had a short glimpse of him when the echo of his bitter firm rasp of the word “Come!” hit me like a hurricane. Hence, I knew I was not just in for a medical survey. More importantly though, the appearance of the figure before me gave Lord Quagmire’s malignancy away. To begin with, he did not smile even once. Quagmire’s eyes were bloodshot and yellow making them look like they came from a black cat from an alleyway on Friday the thirteenth. A dark grey shadow in the shape of a teardrop added immense dreariness to the man’s eyelids just as swarthy pewter-coloured clouds make a once lively city dismal. His face was cracked and covered with a cluttered white goatee connected to shockingly neat, combed hair. Running around the lord’s neck was a turquoise chain that released a feeble glimmer like the shine of a glow-in-the-dark star after fifteen minutes of turning off a light. I slowly, timidly followed this menacing creature. After quite some time spent anxiously plodding, observing Lord Quagmire’s mince and harking the boom of his strides we finally turned one of the numerous doorknobs. I stepped in shielding my eyes from the blinding light while my companion acted satiated like he was unwillingly reading a book for the thirtieth time. Without any further delay, streams of what seemed to be lightning came out of the villain’s fingertips. His long, slender fingers were trembling. He swiveled his head toward me and hissed, “You shall be my master’s new human sacrifice!” Subsequently, he cackled showing gold-plated teeth reflecting a strong beam of light. I was frozen in awe and had no idea what to do so I seized the object nearest to me. It was a small mirror that women used for applying make-up. I shielded my face with it. A rumble of thunder took over my ears like medieval knights invading an enemy castle. The earsplitting noise knocked me to the hard tiling and the next thing I knew, the person who once towered over me was knocked out cold. After another glance at the fallen elderly male, I quickly stumbled out of the building.

Lord Quagmire

notculpable

Joined January 2008

  • Artist
    Notes
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.