Nine Fingered Nan

Let me sing you a song of my nine-fingered Nan, and the tales of her derring-do!
Like the time that she captured a crocodile that escaped from it’s cage at the zoo.
She wrestled that reptile for hours and hours until all of its fighting was done
But when she looked down at her hands, so she says, she noticed her finger was gone!

Then there was the time that she captained a ship to fight pirates away ‘cross the seas
She fought them with cutlasses, knives, clubs and fists, and pepper to make them all sneeze
Then one day a pirate called Captain Lord John, an elegant portly old toff
Got carried away with his fancy swordplay, and sliced Nanny’s finger right off!!

She’s walked to the ends of the earth, so she says, where lands are all covered with snow
And got frostbite in her little finger, she says, and that’s when it just had to go.
She’s been to the Sumatran jungle, she says, and fell victim to blood sucking bats
And been locked up in deep castle dungeons, she says, where that finger was nibbled by rats.

“Don’t play with the mangle”, my Nan always says, “thats not something that I want to see,
Without care and thought you’ll get your finger caught and end up looking something like me”.
But I don’t think she can swing tree to tree, or go racing giant African snails.
I think if my Nan wants to keep all her hand, she ought to stop biting her nails!!

Nine Fingered Nan

Nic Walde

Bracknell, United Kingdom

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