Half Empty Bottles

Alone dwells a bottle, aloof on the shelf,
Within lay some tablets, harmful to health.
My intention is this, to end what I hate,
My worthless existence, this sorry state.
For everyone’s mocking, I’m merely a joke,
An object of laughter, something to poke.
The Lid is removed, I’m so nervous I cry,
But these are my terms, I just want to die.

The pills trickle out and into my hand,
Like bullets of chalk, to turn me to sand.
Sat on my tongue they dissolve right away,
Everything’s spinning, so down I must lay.
Feeling all dizzy, a mist in my eyes,
Darkness has come, I’m close to my prize.
Finally there! the pills have worked well,
Here comes the judgement, Heaven or Hell?.

I think for a moment, a spark of regret,
Remember my Parents, but try to forget.
I should have just told them or left them a note,
But words have no meaning, especially when wrote.
Could it bring comfort or just provoke wrath?
Finding tomorrow a corpse in the bath.
This Woe will subside, forever I’ll sleep,
it’s too late to worry, too late to weep.

I wake from my slumber, sweating in bed,
Loved ones are near, relieved I’m not dead.
‘Why did you do it?’ they couldn’t believe,
They’d hurt me so much, I wanted to leave.
‘It wasn’t your fault’ I tried to explain,
But what was the use? Pointless, in vain.
I wished to be dead, free from this curse,
All I could think, is I’d made matters worse.

Confined to that room, Locked for the Night,
Decided myself, to do what was right.
Some tool of release, is what I Desire,
A Razor, a Bag, a long piece of wire.
To lose all those memories that riddle my past,
Escape from the World, freedom at last.
I walked out the room and whom do I see?
All of my family were waiting for me.

They knew where I headed and what I would try,
Screamed out together demands to know why.
What was this shame, I wore like a broach?
Why was I plagued by a cloud of reproach?
I never considered how much they had cared,
A Problem is halved if a Problem is Shared.
My Pain now diminished, with Tablets I’m done,
Forever I’ve Finished with trying to Run.

(Copyright (©) 2008. All rights reserved)

Half Empty Bottles

Max Gatrell

London, United Kingdom

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