Naylor

Joined February 2008

I have out walked the furthest city lights~ Robert Frost / I am a woman , Mother, sister, daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin and...

CAA...Diluted Bubbles

Wednesday
4/2/09 11:00 am

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -
Not absence of fear Mark Twain

These words speak LOUD and so clear to me in so many situations in my life but this morning I couldn’t help but repeat this to myself…..
My son was rushed to the ER by ambulance this morning because of major chest pain… he is my only son and he is my ROCK! My children are my life and when I say that I don’t mean it as loosely as those words are used…. they ARE my life. As I was sitting with Austin (my son who is 13) in the little waiting area of the towns little ER clinic I found that time seemed to stand still …. the WHAT IF’s came about again….. Knowing the major heart issues I have , my mind just wanted to so go there, but yet my instinct said otherwise….The doctors had Austin taken by ambulance to the bigger hospital in the next town over and I had to follow the ambulance in my car cause ….. well because I dont’ have support in Celena’s world here in Maine…. so I was alone. It hit me how much I have done alone in raising my children. I feared the day I found out I was pregant the first time, that I would fail as a mother, as all us parents do (dads included)…. but then as I got older and found out that my heart issues were hereditary and the Graves Disease .. the bourderline diabeties and the depression blah blah blah … I was overwhelmed for a while with guilt !! FEAR man I can’t believe the BIG role that FEAR has played in my life…..I am babbling here my friends and I am so sorry for that but I am completely overwhelmed today with thoughts and emotions that I had to share because this is REAL this is MY life and I am not afraid to say that I find HUGE comfort from you all here and I need that comfort today ….. (((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Celena

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